Sms Phone Sex with A Fatty

(Before u start reading, please note that B is a very FAT and UGLY gal)

a: How's your day today?
b: Ok ok lor..
a: Never go out with your bf?
b: No bf la..
a: Dun have? Haha.. How come? So what you doing now?
b: At my friend's place.. Haha.. Best friend in primary school..
a: So late still never sleep? What you wearing now?
b: Hmmm.. Wearing what i wore to school lor..
a: Oh, what you doing at your fren's hse? Hanky panky ah.. Haha..
b: Hanky panky your head ah.. Chatting lor.. Shop online..
a: Oh, haha.. Joking only ma.. I am feeling horny now leh.. How ah.. Haha..
b: Lol.. Why horny wor?
a: Dunno leh.. You leh? Horny?
b: I'm not.. Haha.. What you thinking of ah?
a: What do you think i'm thinking of leh? Wanna make a guess?
b: Don't wanna guess.. Lazy.. Tell me?
a: Me ah? Haha, you guess lor.. You had sex before?
b: Haha.. That's for me to know and for you to find out.. Tell me what you thinking leh..
a: How you want me to find out leh? Any idea? I wish to know..
b: Haha.. Dunno.. I want to know what you're thinking.. Quick..
a: Me ah.. Thinking of having sex with someone lor.. Dunno why.. Tell me leh.. How you want me to know.. Haha
b: Wa.. Who's the lucky girl? I dunno leh.. How ah?
a: Dunno who is the lucky gal leh.. Maybe it's you? How you want me to find out? Tell me leh?
b: Ha.. Don't think i'm the one ba.. Eh..
a: Why dun you think you're the one leh? Maybe you are? Tell me leh? You have any sex experience? Just wanna know..
b: Dunno.. Lol..
a: Why you dun wanna tell me? Maybe find one day we meet and i can find out if you got experience in that? Haha, tell me leh.. I feeling horny man.. Haiz
b: Haha.. You're making me horny also leh.. Notti..
a: Huh.. Really you getting horny also? Baby, can tell me if you have experience in that or not? Haha..
b: Haha.. Why you huh.. Haiyo.. Don't call me baby.. Very sensitive..
a: Why sensitive? Haha.. You feeling horny baby? I also feeling horny wor.. Can tell me if you have sex experience? I very interested to know.. Haha.. Dun let me guess leh.. Just now i also tell you le..
b: You only tell me what you thinking ma.. Haha.. Don't call me baby la..
a: Ya lor.. I tell you ma.. So you muz tell me also.. Are you wet now?
b: Not really.. Can't check.. Haha.. Still at friend's house..
a: You go toilet check lor.. Haha.. Baby tell me if you had sex before..
b: Errrh..
a: Tell me later if you wet or not k? Haha.. Cos i'm hard le.. Haiz..
b: Haha.. Lazy leh.. Lol..
a: Dun be lazy leh.. Haha.. What is your favourite position when you having sex?
b: Hee.. Dunno.. Bleah.. Don't tell you so much.. Later you keep visualising..
a: Den i dun visualise lor.. Have practical session? Haha.. Haiz.. So sad.. You dun wanna tell me.. You say for me to find out ma.. But you dun wanna tell me, how you wan me to find out? Haha..
b: Don't keep asking la.. Lol.. Still hard?
a: Ya lor.. Still hard leh.. How ah? Haha.. You wanna help make it soft for me?
b: Bleah.. I hug hug you den okay le.. :x.. you'll get turn off.. Lol..
a: Cannot leh.. Haha.. How?
b: Haha..
a: Why will i get turn off leh? Haha..
b: Cos i fat.. Haha.. You still hard ma?
a: Aiya.. Wun turn off de la.. Haha.. Yeah.. Still hard.. Want you to help me release, can? You still wet?
b: Not really.. Can release in station ah?
a: You help me release lor.. Will you? I'm getting hard for so long.. Waiting for you to release for me..
b: How to help you release darling?
a: Dunno baby.. How you wanna help me release leh, darling..
b: I ask you den you ask me back.. -.-
a: Haha.. You come hand job for me lor.. Den I can release.. You know how? Darling, i'm waiting for you to release for me.. I'm getting hard and it's very long..
b: How long is it? Heh..
a: How long you wan it to be leh? Haha, long and hard enough to make you real wet and go deep in..
b: Lol.. Really that long meh?
a: Yeah.. Really that long.. You wanna experience it yourself?
b: Wa.. Are you wanking off already?
a: No la.. Haha, so how? Wanna experience yourself and see how long and hard it can be?
b: Don't want.. Lol
a: Why dun wan leh? Haha, cos you ask ma if really that long.. Haha..
b: Heh.. Later people see your bulge how?
a: Wun one.. They wun see.. Only for you to see and feel..
b: Heh.. Why wouldn't they see? Now you still feeling horny?
a: I can hide ma.. Haha.. Yeah, still horny.. When will you help me release? I need you darling..
b: How to hide? At your ass ah? Hee.. I also can't help you.. Need me for what..
a: Need you to release for me lor.. My long and hard dick need your wet hole..

at this point i almost puked and therefore forced A to stop this digusting and inhumane sms conversation..
it doesn't sound that bad.. if u have never seen B before..
if u ever saw pictures of B.. i can guarantee u otherwise..

* Disclaimer: None of the above was created by, or belong to, the owner of this blog.
** The owner bears no responsiblity regarding the possible side effects that might be caused by any readers wild imagination.

I HATE FAT PEOPLE

One liners to tell FAT people:

1. It is not that I don't like u, but I am allergic to fat people.
2. Don't forget to take your slimming pills and diet shake before u sleep.
3. You are so fat that when i swerve to avoid u, i ran out of petrol.
4. Well at least u are fat, ugly and honest.
5. OUCH, u are so fat and ugly it hurts.

* i hearby promise myself i will never date or marry a fat gal..
** if i ever do, may i be 10 times fatter than her..