Back to Work

hmm.. it is 9.33am on a Tuesday morning..
usually i don't blog so early in the morning..
cause either i'm at work or i am fast asleep..
i should be going to work today..
just lazing around taking my own sweet time to get up...
can u believe it.. everybody in the house is going to work today..
all 5 memebers of this family..
amazing i say.. freaking unbelievable..

i've stop gambling.. and just saw how much i missed out..
but u know.. and i know..
it is just a temptation for me..
a tease to make me think that i can win at gambling..
i see it.. i realise it..
i will try and be strong..
i will think harder of you and me..
i want a new future with u by myside..
u .. no one else .. but u ... dream gal

*watching kdrama - Sad Love Story...
listening to WaT - 5 Centi. ...

men is weak, GOD is great

it has been more than 2 weeks since i posted anything..
well i guess it doesn't really matter as nobody will be checking it anyway..
actually my computer has been down for more than 2 weeks already..
the hard disk is fucked because of my dumb ass power supply..
and i am so lazy to fix it after repairing all the bad sectors..

2 weeks flew by just like that..
i was so enthusiastic about changing.. so full of hope about dream girl..
but i guess all the excitement has died down..
all the dreams of becoming a better person for u is slowly shattering..
i have gone back once again to drinking, smoking and gambling..
i have tried to suppress all my desires with the thought of being with u..
but i suppose it is still early to talk about being together or our relationship..
well at least we have become less distant..
i wouldn't have described it as more close.. as nothing really much have changed..
i still smile whenever i see u sing on sunday..
and i have the courage now to watch u sing..
hoping u might catch a glimpse of happy face..
sigh.. maybe i am really how i am..
the old me.. the me that craves for a high live..
i've always believed that u will be the one to tame me..
the one that will make me give up all this rubbish and meaningless things i am doing..
when will it be.. who will it be.. will it be that pot of rice?..
i really don't know..

so many things to blog about.. just so lazy to type..
furthermore now that my computer is not working in my room..
i've finally found some time in the house where only i and the maid is at home..
last week was fun.. although everyone lost money on soccer except me..
had a mini school outing with my secondary 4 classmates..
we went to the esplanade for dinner at thai express..
nothing really exciting to blog about except that we manage to catch on old times..
saw the girl that i like for a few years back in secondary school..
she is slowing growing up.. at least she is starting to dress up and look more mature..
ah weithien i think u realise how much i have remembered about u..
the things u said.. the memories we had..
from the way u keep asking me to visit u at ponggol..
somehow i feel that maybe now u have some feelings for me..
hahah.. never mind.. won't reproach u for not being nice to me..
when i felt hurt that u didn't reciprocate my feelings for u 6 years back..
hmmm.. i still think of u sometimes..
and i will never forget u.. just like i never forget the girls i've liked before..

well my spiritual life is growing..
attending bible study classes twice every month..
suddenly i feel so eager to learn more about our Maker..
he is our Father.. our Lord Almighty..
there is a feeling inside me that i feel constantly..
i can't really describe it.. don't really know how to express it..
but i love it.. i want to put God in the number one spot in my life..
hehehe.. and i pray i will stop all my bad habits eventually..

*still waiting to visit dream gal at her hall..
patiently waiting..

Project AR

i have decided to start working on an MTV script i wrote last year..
the song is 周杰伦's 发如雪..
the MTV will roughly be about a guy who is unable to love the girl he likes..
he ends up drinking heavily while reminiscing about the beautiful memories he had..
well i was fortunate enough to be able to cast my best friend so far as the lead actor.
he will be playing my character.. while my beloved sister will play my dream gal..
had alot of scenes to choose from but manage to cut it down to around eight..

just came back after watching the korean movie My Girl and I..
it was only an okie movie.. not very funny or very sad..
maybe because i already watched the japanese version..
which is Crying Out Love In The Centre Of The World

as i came out of the movie.. i was watching couples coming out too..
i tried to look for pairs where the girl was a little taller than the guy.
for most couples i saw.. the guy was usually fairly taller than the girl..
this made me think whether that i and dream girl would look nice side my side
however before the movie... i saw a guy and girl that gave me so much inspiration..
the girl was tall and thin.. probably around dream girl's 2nd sister's height..
the guy was fairly short.. probably just slightly shorter than me.
however he was very muscular and had a very big build..
that gave me some consolation for the night..

i've never been bothered very much about our slight difference..
with u a little bit taller than me.. but i am worried u might be..
love should not be measured by the differences between the both of us..
but by the amount of love and acceptance u can provide for each other..
who says guys have to be taller than girls..
who says girls cannot be earning more than guys..
who says that a normal guy cannot go out with such a perfect girl..
who says i can't love you because of our differences..
i love you with all my heart..
i want to love you for the rest of my life..
i want to be able to protect u.. to support u..
to share your happiness and sorrow..
to laugh when u laugh.. and to weep when u're upset..
let me be your everything in your life..
let me be the one that completes your future..
let me be the one that will be with you for the rest of your life..

*i am the one for you..
will u let me be the one?

Hehehe

after everything.. i realised ice cream was just a passing moment..
a distraction that allowed me to see even more clearly what i want..
she was a girl that would be very hard for me to like..
well thank you for showing me who you are..

so now can i concentrate fully on dream gal..
was wrecking my brains last month about whether to give u up.
but u know..
i don't think i can find another girl as perfect as i always thought you were..
i thought i found another one.. but she turned out not even quarter of what u are..
heheh.. call me fickled minded..
call me a player..
but this time.. i will finish the job..
this time i will work harder than ever..
this time.. it will be the last time..
soon we shall be together..
hahah.. that is if i'm doing the right things u like..
and that u accept me la.. obviously..

DEAR DEAR.. haha.. well that's what i would call u ..
hai.. still such a long time to go..

*加油 加油 加油... 肌肉男孩