men is weak, GOD is great

it has been more than 2 weeks since i posted anything..
well i guess it doesn't really matter as nobody will be checking it anyway..
actually my computer has been down for more than 2 weeks already..
the hard disk is fucked because of my dumb ass power supply..
and i am so lazy to fix it after repairing all the bad sectors..

2 weeks flew by just like that..
i was so enthusiastic about changing.. so full of hope about dream girl..
but i guess all the excitement has died down..
all the dreams of becoming a better person for u is slowly shattering..
i have gone back once again to drinking, smoking and gambling..
i have tried to suppress all my desires with the thought of being with u..
but i suppose it is still early to talk about being together or our relationship..
well at least we have become less distant..
i wouldn't have described it as more close.. as nothing really much have changed..
i still smile whenever i see u sing on sunday..
and i have the courage now to watch u sing..
hoping u might catch a glimpse of happy face..
sigh.. maybe i am really how i am..
the old me.. the me that craves for a high live..
i've always believed that u will be the one to tame me..
the one that will make me give up all this rubbish and meaningless things i am doing..
when will it be.. who will it be.. will it be that pot of rice?..
i really don't know..

so many things to blog about.. just so lazy to type..
furthermore now that my computer is not working in my room..
i've finally found some time in the house where only i and the maid is at home..
last week was fun.. although everyone lost money on soccer except me..
had a mini school outing with my secondary 4 classmates..
we went to the esplanade for dinner at thai express..
nothing really exciting to blog about except that we manage to catch on old times..
saw the girl that i like for a few years back in secondary school..
she is slowing growing up.. at least she is starting to dress up and look more mature..
ah weithien i think u realise how much i have remembered about u..
the things u said.. the memories we had..
from the way u keep asking me to visit u at ponggol..
somehow i feel that maybe now u have some feelings for me..
hahah.. never mind.. won't reproach u for not being nice to me..
when i felt hurt that u didn't reciprocate my feelings for u 6 years back..
hmmm.. i still think of u sometimes..
and i will never forget u.. just like i never forget the girls i've liked before..

well my spiritual life is growing..
attending bible study classes twice every month..
suddenly i feel so eager to learn more about our Maker..
he is our Father.. our Lord Almighty..
there is a feeling inside me that i feel constantly..
i can't really describe it.. don't really know how to express it..
but i love it.. i want to put God in the number one spot in my life..
hehehe.. and i pray i will stop all my bad habits eventually..

*still waiting to visit dream gal at her hall..
patiently waiting..