Life at Station 11

starry night moon so bright..
where are you my sweet delight..
all the alphas back at base..
how i miss your pretty face..

mattress out lying down..
wondering what you are doing now..
toss and turn many times..
thoughts of you flood my mind..

around me no one walks..
its been ages since we talked..
snoring sounds fill the air..
you must think i don't care..

all a sudden the speaker rings..
you and ben don't look like a fling..
people sit up still asleep..
just thinking makes me wanna weep..

those on call rush towards the door..
i really wish i had done more..
alpha out call sheet taken..
nobody to blame now that i'm heart broken..

blaring sirens slowly fade away..
trying to forget you day by day..
i lay back down to rest..
need new hope to get out of this mess..

looking out it is getting late..
fill this heart with less hate..
starry night moon so bright..
i love you my sweet delight..

* my lovely sweet delight..

50 pinches for miss xx

sigh.. i miss u miss xx..
i don't want to miss u..
cause i don't want to think of u..

it's all me..
it's all about me..
me and me only..

*u selfish bastard...

Quotes from Secondary School

Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes.
Evening keep clothes.
Night iron clothes.
Midnight take off clothes.
Few hours after midnight find clothes.

爱情跟感情是女人的游戏
男人玩的是钱，汽车和女人

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

lunch with miss xx

well.. finally went out with miss xx after such a long time..
it has been awhile since we went out for a meal..
don't know why.. i feel that i have to put in so much effort..
just to get her out for a simple meal..
miss xx.. u made me wait for almost 3 weeks..
from the day i ask u till the day we finally went out..
but never mind.. it was a pretty fun day..

i woke up with abit of sore eyes..
thought it was pretty obvious...
but it didn't dampen the mood..
took a cab to pick miss xx up from her place..
i'm such a gentlemen right.. heheh
we arrived at siglap.. but both of us weren't that hungry..
decided to go macdonald's and sit around..
boy.. did i love to share that mc flurry with you..
i would describe it as the nicest mc flurry i ever had.
heheh.. miss xx was feeding me spoon by spoon..
me one mouth.. miss xx one mouth..
awwww.. how much sweeter can it get..
lol.. i didn't want that mc flurry to finish..
despite me acting that i wasn't really interested in eating..
hehehehe... i am smiling thinking of that incident..

afterwards we walked down to the japanese restaurant..
the one beside thai express.. ****igen dining****..
we had:
1. Salmon Sashimi
2. Soft Shell Crab
3. California Maki
4. Tempura Maki
5. Ice Lemon Tea for me
6. Green Tea for dear miss xx

hehehe.. i was full.. smiling and grinning..
the talk cock session was alright only..
didn't explode to anything spectacular which i imagined...
hahaha.. nah.. u won't be able to imagine what i imagined..
lol.. chit chat.. laugh.. it was a wonderful afternoon..
too bad u had to go back to church early..
HUMPH! seems like whenever the day we go out..
u always have something to do at church..
any correlation.. lol.. fishy and suspicious u know..
anyway in a hurry to play everything cool..
i can't believe i forgot to take the receipt..
damn.. i realised it only when i reach home that day..
nothing concrete to remember that day with..
looks like this entry will have to do..

ironically something nasty happened after that lovely day..
out of angry spite i decided to clear all of dream gal's sms..
damn i so regret it now..
not because i am left with none of dream gal's sms..
but because i also deleted my favourite sms of all time from miss xx..
ARGHHHH!!!!!.. that was the sweetest msg i ever received from her..
lol.. it was a level 99 power msg lor.. hahaha..
to think miss xx couldn't remember what she sent..
guess u don't mean it literally right?.. the sms u sent..
hmmm... never mind..
i shall interpret it the way i imagined how u felt when u sent it..
hahah... the msg will never be forgotten... lucky i blogged it down..
"hahaha.. thanks qx((: xq loves you(:"

* u drove me nuts for one day..
can i have it everyday or many many days?... pleaseeeeeeeee??...

Mambo Night

tonight will be the first time i'm going to mambo night..
hmmm... don't really feel anything..
girls.. chicks.. bitches.. would i find one..
nah.. i'm not like this...

nothing much to report..
went out for 3 calls in the ambulance yesterday..
nothing serious.. riding the alpha was exciting..
i'm starting to enjoy being a medic..
it wasn't a bad choice after all..

everybody says i'm not the one for u..
it sures feel like that..
i won't think so much whenever i hear stories of u and him..
this way.. i'll be happier..

sat.. can't wait..
jap food here i come..
don't know going where yet..
but i am already smiling...

* Beware mambo chicks.. here i come...

lost in loneliness

i'm finally a medic.. an ambulance attendent..
thus begin my vocation in my national service..
i'm not disappointed i was not chosen for best trainee..
why should i be.. do i deserve that award?..
i'm not disappointed i was not chosen for best in theory..
why should i be.. i did not really study hard anyway..

am i getting desperate.. i'm starting to worry about my life...
i've tried to cut down on drinking..
this belly of mine is gradually getting more flabby..
for the first time in my life.. i understand what it is like to be fat..
somehow i can feel what so many girls dread about..
no wonder they get so worried about it..
i hate my tummy.. but i still drink..
occasionally.. when i want to feel the sadness..

suddenly i lost all motivation..
was on the right track when i stopped gambling for good..
then cutting down on the drinking..
i know i am resisting all my temptations..
trying to stop myself from all these evil pleasures...
i hate it.. i hate myself for going back to my old self..

i feel that my entries are getting more narrative..
compared to the entries when i was high..
those entries seemed so much more imaginative..
i crave for those times.. but i know i can't go back..
i yearn for those feelings of absolute freedom..
yet all i feel now is this emptiness...

i am lost in loneliness..

* this song is for the girl in black at Wheelock Place Coffee Bean this afternoon
** Hong Jun Yang - Hua Yi Ge Meng
*** it is sad.. your face is slowly fading away from my memories