POS

u piece of shit..
hahaha..
don't want don't want la..
already say don't want..
why u still keep thinking so much..

dislocated my fucking shoulder..
the moment i woke up..
how fucking gay is that..
was reaching for the alarm clock..
when it fucking popped out..
knn..
anyway whatever crap..
i still went to work..

i was resisting the urge to msg little sparrow..
on the way in the car..
but then i still did..
she replied a short and seemingly..
'can't really be bothered' reply..
hahah..
i mean..
so not caring..
so unemotional..
i mean..
i wasn't expecting her to comfort me like a little baby..
but i was at least expecting something..
she went..
"Violent sia.. Haha. =)"
like wat the heck right..
that was just sooooooo wateverish..
not even a whiff of an affectionate gal..
hahah..
KAO!!!!!

reached the office..
then told myself i would email little sparrow lesser..
sent her a short email..
just some blah blah..
she took a while to reply..
then i thought ah fuck it..
if feel like emailing then just email la..
fuck all the shit i thought about yesterday..
little sparrow said she was quite busy today..
then replied short emails and took quite long..
after awhile no replies..
wasn't expecting much..
waited 1 hr..
no reply..
waited 2 hrs..
still no reply..
waited 2 and a half hrs..
STILL NO FUCKING REPLY..
after 2 HRS and 50 MINS..
she finally replied..
again some blah blah half hearted reply..
hahaha..
at this point of time i was like..
ah yo..
yesterday complain email so much..
today she also want to chill out..
u feel irritated for wat..
i was like..
hai..
kind of a little disappointed..
at the same time a little bored..
hahaha..

ccb
yesterday give u eat so much u buay tahan..
today cut down abit u kao pei kao bu..
fucking cibai hard to please leh u..
hai..
feel so empty and irritated now..
i think still don't have THAT kind of feelings..
but then i am like starting to expect..
she will spend a little more attention on me..
sigh..
maybe i should try and like do lesser stuff for her..
but then the things she want me to help her..
doesn't take much effort also..
not like i have to GO ALL OUT for her..
don't know what to expect at the office tomolo..
maybe this will be the start of less emailing..
less contact..
less 2 3 hrs telephone conversations..
don't know if we'll even go out again..
i highly doubt it..
if i don't arrange..
hmmmm..
hai..
we'll see..
I SO NEED A NEW TARGET !!!!

* looks is what attracts a person
** but character will determine how long the attraction will last..

magnolia gotcha

little sparrow is like magnolia gotcha jumbo choc fudge ice cream..
nice okie ice cream..
but cannot be compared to..
Haagen Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream..
not something u can gorge yourself on..
or indulge yourself without any limits..

after finishing one magnolia gotcha ice cream..
u wouldn't mind having another one..
then another one..
after continuing for a few more..
u suddenly feel abit stuffed..
after even some more..
the full feeling starts creeping up..
and u think to yourself..
i think i just had one too many..
but then u like rest for awhile..
and then hmmm..
actually i don't mind another one..
even though it is like okie only..
unlike haagen dazs..
where i can eat 1 whole pint without any difficulty..

what i am trying to say is that..
everyday i email little sparrow at the office..
sending her emails and reading her replies..
some what makes me a little happy..
she can be funny at times..
sometimes a little notti..
at times a little vulgar..
but her mails are funny..
which makes me laugh a little..
however..
we email each other the whole day..
chatting almost about everything..
at the end of the day..
when i am walking to the mrt..
i was like..
feeling kind of bored..
talking so much to a gal..
when i am only so very little bit interested in..
finally when i was able to settle down in a seat..
i began to think back about everything that happened today..
yea it sure was fun emailing each other..
but maybe we emailed too much..
that i felt a little over whelming..
i mean..
why does she keep replying..
why does she even bother to send me so many mails..
then it struck me..
why do i keep emailing her then..
hahah..
bored??..
maybe she's bored too..
i shrugged..
i don't want to accidentally have feelings for her..
cause she is so not my type..
then i think..
hmmm..
i wonder if she has feelings for me..
but cannot be also wat..
haha..
then i sigh..
i promise myself i will email her less tomolo..
maybe i am having too much of little sparrow..
that it is making me abit uneasy..

BUT then i will suddenly receive a msg..
out of the blue from little sparrow..
which makes me..
well..
a little happy..
hahah..
so she was thinking of me after all..
kekekek..
hmmm..
don't know la..
why why why..
wat is this..
i don't want but i want kind of feeling..
hahaha..
DON'T KNOW LA..
i don't know don't know don't know don't know..
DON'T WANT TO KNOW LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

* you have your way.. i have my way..
** as for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist..

Little Sparrow

so tomboyish and auntified..
keeps talking non stop..
always seem to have something to say..
about everything and anything..
lol..
her sense of dressing is quite off too..
i mean..
hahah..
don't know whether she tries too hard..
or doesn't try at all..
i mean..
just look at the clothes she wear..
i think a fat and ugly girl can pick better clothes man..

okie i have to admit little sparrow is kind of witty..
but she can be so bimbotic at times..
so blur and doesn't seem to catch my jokes..
haha..
like really..
how hard is it for u to understand my jokes..
below is a classic example:

xy: Where are all the hunks??!
qx: One is at serangoon.. The rest i don't know.. Lol
xy: Ok ok. Intro le. What are you waiting for? Haha.
qx: U know him wat.. Still need to intro meh?
xy: Who? How come i dunno. Who stays at serangoon?
qx: I'm going to CHOMP CHOMP to eat dinner now.. U know where is it?
xy: Yes! Wa. Ok. Have fun. Eat more. !
qx: Lol.. It's at SERANGOON right?
xy: ....................... (no more response)

like what the heck..
either u're really dumb..
or u're super good at acting blur..
somehow i believe it's the first..
hahaha..

little sparrow is my childhood friend..
apparently she comes to my hse to play..
when she was young..
her father is my father's rumoured gay partner..
but i don't have much memories of her from last time..
only photos of us taken at my hse..
well after like more than 10 years..
we were to meet again..
honestly..
little sparrow is not a stunner..
neither is she a cutie..
if i saw her on the streets..
i don't think my vision will stray..
she is pretty flat too..
hahah..
don't blame her..
blame MRS HO!!
but then don't know la..
don't know why i like keep being nice to her..
and try to do things for her..
i mean..
usually i will only do all this kind of shit..
for a gal that i like..
or is interested in..

the first time we went out..
it was at some korean bbq place at dempsey road..
fuck..
she was like..
just order..
let's try this and that..
then when the dishes came..
she was like..
oh i only eat a bit..
knn..
order so much then eat so little..
hahahah..
lucky i was quite the super hungry..
and could finish up all the food
guess how much the bill came up too..
$187.14..
i almost puked when the waitress gave me the receipt..
tamade..
i don't think i ever ate something so expensive..
with just another girl..
hahahah..
after that we went to Harry's for a drink..
i mean..
throughout the whole evening..
we could talk about anything..
well we talked about everything..
jobs, gals, guys, careers, our lives..
but then leh..
i found it abit boring..
she just couldn't take any of my hints..
there were times i just wanted some silence..
u know..
to like build up the romantic atmosphere..
or watever..
but she just wouldn't shut up..
hahaha..
MAYBE she does not even have any ideas for me..
and that we were just good friends or wat shit..
but really man..
she probably talked more than me..
which is like so super unusual and weird for me la..

hahah..
i really have to admit..
there is so little physical attraction when i am with her..
she just doesn't bring out my gentleman instincts..
doesn't portray the 'protect me i'm a little girl' image..
hahaha..
don't know la..
i've never fancied sporty girls..
or girls that talk alot..
or girls that are too independent..
somehow she seems to have all these characteristics..
but then..
i email her the first thing i reach the office..
i am somewhat happy whenever she replies my msgs..
i am willing to like burn dvds and songs for her..
i don't mind buying durian puffs and bring it to her hse for her..
hahaha..
don't know la..
maybe i'm just bored and want to have something or someone..
to devote my attention too..
hahah..
something like a little pet rabbit or dog..
hahahah..
just a wiggle of your ears or wagging of your tail..
i am more than satisfied liao..
ah HAHAHAHAHAHA...

i wonder what will happen in future..
i think the possibility of me liking her is very low..
but then again..
u never know..
hahaha..
i am hoping NOT..
cause i am very AFRAID of MR HO!!!!!!..
hahaha...

* life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it,
** without knowing what's going to happen next.. delicious ambiguity..

the gal beside the toilet

started noticing another pretty gal in deloitte..
she belongs to the pretty category..
more than the cute category..
the way she dresses..
a bit more mature..
mostly office attire..
she will always tie her hair back in a pony tail..
makes her look quite sophisticated..
yet with a slight touch of youthfulness..
she is really pretty..
wears makeup almost everyday..
which really enhances her facial features..
she's quite fair..
heheh..
milky white..
just how i like it..
lol..
yummmy..
thinking of her..
just makes me wanna drool..

this pretty gal's desk..
is directly outside the entrance of the toilets..
so whenever i use the toilet..
i will take my time to walk pass her..
she seems to be so freaking hardworking..
most of the time..
her face will be glued on the screen..
typing away or doing her stuff..
i went to the toilet today..
a record 10 times..
yet..
NOT ONCE DID SHE LOOK UP!! ..
gosh...
u must really like deloitte very much..
or we're just so not fated..
hmmmmm...
what else can i do..
walk past u beside your desk?..
hahaha..
please try and pay more attention to your surrounding in future..
cause..
because..
u'll make someone's day just by smiling back..

* gal of my dreams, seems so true..
** sweet as ice cream, why can't she be u??..

Cute Deloitte Gal

why?..
why do u give your heart away so easily..
tell me why..

u caught my eye..
from the first moment i saw you..
u looked so cute..
in that sleeveless top of yours..
i tried to smile at you..
but u never acknowledged me..
so dao..
HUMPH!!!!

fate has it that i was meant to see u..
u were sitting on the desk that was going to be mine..
poor thing..
u had to move else where because of me..
well poor me too..
as u moved to a desk so far away from mine..
how i wished u will be sitting close to me..
so that i could secretly steal glances at you..

sigh..
now i can only hope that you would come visit your friends..
whose desks are close to me..
otherwise..
it would be so hard for me to admire your cuteness..
i was hoping i would bump into u..
then i could apologise for stealing your desk..
but i never did..
and u're always with your group of friends..
damn it..
not giving me a chance..

it's been 3 days now..
and i still haven said a single word to u..
please give me an opportunity..
something..
anything..
on the way back from the toilet..
or even on your way to collect documents from the printer..
let me bump into u when u're alone..
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

* action may not always bring happiness..
** but there is no happiness without action..

Red Cliff Part 1

went out with miss xx to watch a movie..
finally after so long..
it has been almost 1 yr since we went out..
still cute as ever..
but i don't think we can ever be together..
lol..
i don't think so..
i miss u miss xx..
miss u alot..

* as long as we have memories, yesterday remains..
** as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits..
*** as long as we have love, today is beautiful..