empty

imagine this..
going out with little sparrow..
msging miss xx through out the day..
buying pizza for ole at night..
getting a phone call from gina in the evening..
then imagine all this happening on the same day..
don't u just feel so lucky..
4 freaking gals in one day..
don't u just feel fucking overjoyed?..

NO I DON'T..
sigh..
instead i am feeling so lonely and empty inside..
so wat if all this is happening to me..
so wat if i get to spend time with these gals..
at the end of the day..
as i lay down on my bed..
all i see is the same 4 walls..
knowing i will wake to the same old job..
nothing is changing..
i am not moving forward..
just circling round and round at the same spot..

well i thought..
i thought that i will be at least happy..
glad that i have someone special..
then i realise..
none is that special after all..
friends, flings, giks..
sigh..
i ask for too much..
and expect too much..
never satisfied..
always wanting more and more..
sigh..
back to work again tomolo..

someone please slap a little enthusiasm into me!!!..

* when you think the world has turned its back on you..
** take a look, you have most likely turned your back on the world..

Blind

is little sparrow gradually getting cuter..
or am i just slowly becoming blind..
lol..
gosh..
i can't believe i am actually saying this..
little sparrow..
u looked really cute today..
haha..
she was wearing this simple black spaghetti top..
with some short pants..
tempting me with her bare shoulders..
teasing me with..
her pink strap and black laced bra..
that was like poking out a little at the top..
hehehe..
yes i am a LAO TI KO..
RRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr..
wah kao man..
i couldn't stop staring..
i mean..
don't know if u noticed..
BUT MY EYES WERE LIKE GLUED TO THE FRONT..
hahahah..

played ping pong with little sparrow..
at my club today..
quite fun..
found her so freaking cute the whole day..
man..
the way she giggled..
when we were talking..
the way she laughed..
when i made her run left and right for the ball..
the way she squirmed..
when i was going to smash..
the way she 'angrily' threw the ball across the table..
when she lost a point..
just everything la..

BUT BUT..
heheh..
i acted all moody and shit today..
IT WAS AN ACT LA..
dumb dumb..
if u didn't know..
why?..
cause..
cause i am like..
hmmmm..
my heart is starting to flutter..
hai..
i can't control it anymore..
my stance of u is starting to sway..
and i am feeling irritated about it..
CANNOT..
cannot fall for a gal..
before i can confirm her feelings..
hai..
looked at u today and sighed..
but u thought i was just upset about my work stuff..
well i am pissed about things at my work..
but then i guess..
the sighing was more about u..

wanted to seduce her..
in the end kena tio seduced..
so weak meh u..
no power at all..
any gal come..
hehe haha with u..
then u tio KC..
hahaha..
WEAK LEH..

standard procedure..
time to chill out liao
going to start ignoring her..
NO MORE EMAILS..
NO MORE SMS..
got to endure until she makes the first move again..
HANG IN THERE U ASS!!!!!

* your heart is born with your brain..
** Emotion or Reason, which do you obey?..

the teh-ing sparrow

well it's been almost 1 month now..
since i started going out with little sparrow..
hmmm..
wat should i say..
in the beginning..
she would just talk and talk..
go on non-stop about anything..
i've told her i prefer gals that don't talk so much..
well..
not 'I LIKE GALS THAT DON'T TALK SO MUCH'..
hahah..
maybe more like i hinted her..
and then u know wat..
gradually she started talking less..
well..
not like some mute or wat la..
more understanding..
maybe more willing to listen..
when i talk..
she will listen more..
hehe..
don't know..
of course i like it more compared to before..

i am starting to feel some sort of chemistry with her..
hahah..
never felt it at the start..
not really the love or like type..
maybe more of the i am interested in you..
let's hang out or just go do something together..
i enjoy her company..
she's kind of obedient in some sense..
willing to let me tease her..
but will like pinch me so hard when she admits defeat..
hahah..
somewhat cute..
i also told her i like the teh-ing type of gals..
then she said something like..
she can be very teh also..
hahah..
i challenged her to teh me..
and she went like..
'darling.. how ah.. i don't know ah..'
hahahahahaha..
I LIKED IT..
kekekek..
but..
but but..
i didn't dare to express it too much..
or enjoyed it too excessively..
lol..
in case like..
like like..
wat if i accidentally..
u know..
hahaha..

hmmmm..
sometimes i wonder if she is like..
trying to change a little..
since she knows that i can be so picky..
so stubborn about certain things..
complain about this and that..
don't know if she is purposely doing it to please me..
or just being nicer or more accommodating..
hahaha..
well i hope she is doing it purposely..
but then..
but then..
hahaha..
sigh..

we can really joke and tease each other..
but sometimes i wonder if she thinks i'm too boy boy..
i have to admit i can be quite childish at times..
i told her i use to teh my ex gfs..
then she was like..
don't think i like lor..
hahah..

that night we went to orchard for dinner..
picked her up from her hse..
well she was wearing quite a cute tube dress..
with a little lovely butterfly belt..
finally something nice..
after so many tries..
hahaha
i mean..
in case u didn't know..
i really like gals showing their shoulders..
hahah..
i just think it's so hot can..
RRRRrrr..
but..
BUT BUT BUT..
sigh..
it just emphasized her well..
not so endowed areas..
hahahah...
HAI...
i feel a little sad..
i mean..
it's OKIE to be LIKE u KNOW..
but but..
i just wished sometimes it was..
HAI..
U KNOW..
hahaha..
anyway..
was like staring at her across the table during dinner..
hmmm..
her looks are starting to grow on me..
abit meaty cheeks..
round squarish face.. (WTF??.. HAHA!!)
i wish your hair was a little longer..
maybe can change the colour abit too..

WAIT!!!!!!..
wat the heck man..
wat am i trying to say..
i mean..
i mean..
hahaha..
wah kao..
u talk as if u're like so into her man..
hahah..

little sparrow has alot of guy friends..
and she doesn't seem to like to talk much about them..
whenever i prod her for more details..
she will go..
erhh.. ahhh.. u know..
like that lor..
hahaha..
not jealous or wat la..
just that maybe..
hmmm..
i don't feel so very that special..
as she's probably treating most of the guys like that..
ah ya..
maybe i'm just feeling frustrated that..
i have not 'seduced' her enough yet..
and that she still hasn't fallen under my charm
ahahahaha..
well not that i'm TRYING HARD to do that..
hahah..
it's just that..
maybe i am somewhat trying a little..
lol..
wat am i even talking sia..
kao kao kao..
don't know la..
AM I STARTING TO SOUND ABIT CONFUSED???
ROARRRRRRrrrr...

* dreams are like stars, you may never touch them..
** but if you follow them, they will lead you to your destiny..