February 2006

helleo.. 1st of February.. goodbye January..
so many things happened and i don't really know what to type..
i have been reading thru some of my recent posts..
and i realise i have been kind of lazy and sloppy..
i use to triple edit my posts when i write things about you..
but now i just seem to spend less time and effort in posting..
maybe because i am starting to realise i am writing to no one..

chinese new year is going to end soon.. and a new year arrives..
time really flies.. and it waits for no one..
3 years ago.. i started having a dream about u..
i kept telling myself u were the girl i was going to marry..
the girl that was going to change everything in my life..
but slowly.. we drifted apart.. and i got worst..
there is no point waiting for time to make dreams reality..
i know.. cause i have always been waiting for time..
kids.. don’t believe that fairy tales come true or all that bullshit..
dreams never happen if you don’t work hard or make an effort..
the world is too competitive and selfish..

anyway.. had a good Chinese year gambling and eating..
i seem to always win during Chinese year.. haha..
blackjack and mahjong.. i gamble everything under the sun..
maybe i am made for small time gambling..
cause i always seem to win when i keep things small..
stopped soccer betting for almost 3 weeks..
but started again with my dear cousin during CNY..
i didn’t lose much.. but it just seem to confirm my theory..
i wasn’t made for big time gambles.. unlike my cousin..
anyway.. i really want to stop soccer betting…
and i want my cousin to stop together with me..
i’m afraid both of us might lose control in future and start to bet even more
i don’t know what it is.. but i think my advice is going thru..
both of us have decided to take a chill and stop for awhile..
i know gambling is so in both of our blood.. i can feel it..
it is a distinct trait and has come to define our character..
but to all the girls out there… we are going to start changing for you..
lol.. at least we are going to try..
we know that ultimately when we start a relationship or family..
we won’t be able to hold on to it and you girls at the same time..
for we also want to find good and perfect girls from church..

i won’t edit my posts anymore.. cause i don’t have the time..
but i won’t stop changing.. trust me.. believe in me..
and it would help if you were more friendly..
i know it might give me the wrong signals and shit..
but heck.. if we were so made for each other..
and if we are so going to be together in future..
being more friendly would just quicken my change..

*haha.. maybe i’m starting to dream again..
sigh.. i only just woke up.. what am i thinking…
** the emails are in Morse code.. won’t tell u how to decode it yet..
*** i love this song.. i love you

在主爱中

清晨照耀，天空照耀，仿佛对我微微笑

阵阵微风，徐徐吹扫，逍遥自在白云飘

鸟语花香，绿草如茵，青春时光多美好

轻轻欢唱，静静观赏，烦恼全都不见了

在基督里，享受主爱，自由奔放了开怀

世上没任何事物能够隔绝神的爱

在基督里，享受主爱，自由奔放了开怀

我要赞美，我要歌颂，造物主的奇妙爱

呵……