Last 2 Weeks
last 2 weeks of my life was horrible..
it was depressing.. sad and very unmovtivating..
2 weeks ago was all my physical and equipment tests in national service..
i achieved a score of 21/25 points.. but did not get any award..
21 points would have gotten me a gold badge
but instead.. i was awarded only a pass..
this was because i did only 6 pull ups..
i managed 8 but 2 was deducted due to kicking..
for my rescue equpiment test.. i got a Class B..
although only 1 person in my whole platoon got Class A..
i still feel disappointed as i thought i deserved Class A..
many a times i feel that i am happy being a slacker..
comforting myself when i seldom achieve what i aim for nowadays..
compared to many years back.. before i started everything..
before i started all my shit.. when i was still a bright and innocent boy..
what have i become.. why do i feel like shit when i am so shit..
don't u understand..
u're no more that perfectionist u've always been dreaming about..
gone are the days when u were top in everything..
best in all the things u did..
last friday only further confirmed my lousiness and uselessness..
i thought the church outing would at least bring some happiness..
yet i did not even get to talk to dream gal..
u chose to cycle on that day when u already agreed i would teach you how to blade..
i was putting on my blades in anticipation when u dropped the bomb on me..
all i could do was smile meekly at you when u when over to the bike section..
u have no idea how pain my heart was as i watched u cycled away into the distance..
my mood changed and i had to force a happy face for the whole day..
i don't think u can ever imagine that feeling...
i almost exploded when people were telling me..
u shared a double bike with that mother fucking pot of rice
haha.. haha.. what a fool i was.. what a hero pot of rice turned out to be..
it was probably one of the happiest day of his life..
haha.. u know what.. i'm glad u had a wonderful day last week..
cause mine was one of the shitest.. the shitest of the shitest days of my life..
well what do u expect from a loser anyway..
*haven seen or talked to u since that day..
it will be awhile.. cause i'm on church strike..
it was depressing.. sad and very unmovtivating..
2 weeks ago was all my physical and equipment tests in national service..
i achieved a score of 21/25 points.. but did not get any award..
21 points would have gotten me a gold badge
but instead.. i was awarded only a pass..
this was because i did only 6 pull ups..
i managed 8 but 2 was deducted due to kicking..
for my rescue equpiment test.. i got a Class B..
although only 1 person in my whole platoon got Class A..
i still feel disappointed as i thought i deserved Class A..
many a times i feel that i am happy being a slacker..
comforting myself when i seldom achieve what i aim for nowadays..
compared to many years back.. before i started everything..
before i started all my shit.. when i was still a bright and innocent boy..
what have i become.. why do i feel like shit when i am so shit..
don't u understand..
u're no more that perfectionist u've always been dreaming about..
gone are the days when u were top in everything..
best in all the things u did..
last friday only further confirmed my lousiness and uselessness..
i thought the church outing would at least bring some happiness..
yet i did not even get to talk to dream gal..
u chose to cycle on that day when u already agreed i would teach you how to blade..
i was putting on my blades in anticipation when u dropped the bomb on me..
all i could do was smile meekly at you when u when over to the bike section..
u have no idea how pain my heart was as i watched u cycled away into the distance..
my mood changed and i had to force a happy face for the whole day..
i don't think u can ever imagine that feeling...
i almost exploded when people were telling me..
u shared a double bike with that mother fucking pot of rice
haha.. haha.. what a fool i was.. what a hero pot of rice turned out to be..
it was probably one of the happiest day of his life..
haha.. u know what.. i'm glad u had a wonderful day last week..
cause mine was one of the shitest.. the shitest of the shitest days of my life..
well what do u expect from a loser anyway..
*haven seen or talked to u since that day..
it will be awhile.. cause i'm on church strike..