Last 2 Weeks
last 2 weeks of my life was horrible..
it was depressing.. sad and very unmovtivating..
2 weeks ago was all my physical and equipment tests in national service..
i achieved a score of 21/25 points.. but did not get any award..
21 points would have gotten me a gold badge
but instead.. i was awarded only a pass..
this was because i did only 6 pull ups..
i managed 8 but 2 was deducted due to kicking..
for my rescue equpiment test.. i got a Class B..
although only 1 person in my whole platoon got Class A..
i still feel disappointed as i thought i deserved Class A..
many a times i feel that i am happy being a slacker..
comforting myself when i seldom achieve what i aim for nowadays..
compared to many years back.. before i started everything..
before i started all my shit.. when i was still a bright and innocent boy..
what have i become.. why do i feel like shit when i am so shit..
don't u understand..
u're no more that perfectionist u've always been dreaming about..
gone are the days when u were top in everything..
best in all the things u did..
last friday only further confirmed my lousiness and uselessness..
i thought the church outing would at least bring some happiness..
yet i did not even get to talk to dream gal..
u chose to cycle on that day when u already agreed i would teach you how to blade..
i was putting on my blades in anticipation when u dropped the bomb on me..
all i could do was smile meekly at you when u when over to the bike section..
u have no idea how pain my heart was as i watched u cycled away into the distance..
my mood changed and i had to force a happy face for the whole day..
i don't think u can ever imagine that feeling...
i almost exploded when people were telling me..
u shared a double bike with that mother fucking pot of rice
haha.. haha.. what a fool i was.. what a hero pot of rice turned out to be..
it was probably one of the happiest day of his life..
haha.. u know what.. i'm glad u had a wonderful day last week..
cause mine was one of the shitest.. the shitest of the shitest days of my life..
well what do u expect from a loser anyway..
*haven seen or talked to u since that day..
it will be awhile.. cause i'm on church strike..
it was depressing.. sad and very unmovtivating..
2 weeks ago was all my physical and equipment tests in national service..
i achieved a score of 21/25 points.. but did not get any award..
21 points would have gotten me a gold badge
but instead.. i was awarded only a pass..
this was because i did only 6 pull ups..
i managed 8 but 2 was deducted due to kicking..
for my rescue equpiment test.. i got a Class B..
although only 1 person in my whole platoon got Class A..
i still feel disappointed as i thought i deserved Class A..
many a times i feel that i am happy being a slacker..
comforting myself when i seldom achieve what i aim for nowadays..
compared to many years back.. before i started everything..
before i started all my shit.. when i was still a bright and innocent boy..
what have i become.. why do i feel like shit when i am so shit..
don't u understand..
u're no more that perfectionist u've always been dreaming about..
gone are the days when u were top in everything..
best in all the things u did..
last friday only further confirmed my lousiness and uselessness..
i thought the church outing would at least bring some happiness..
yet i did not even get to talk to dream gal..
u chose to cycle on that day when u already agreed i would teach you how to blade..
i was putting on my blades in anticipation when u dropped the bomb on me..
all i could do was smile meekly at you when u when over to the bike section..
u have no idea how pain my heart was as i watched u cycled away into the distance..
my mood changed and i had to force a happy face for the whole day..
i don't think u can ever imagine that feeling...
i almost exploded when people were telling me..
u shared a double bike with that mother fucking pot of rice
haha.. haha.. what a fool i was.. what a hero pot of rice turned out to be..
it was probably one of the happiest day of his life..
haha.. u know what.. i'm glad u had a wonderful day last week..
cause mine was one of the shitest.. the shitest of the shitest days of my life..
well what do u expect from a loser anyway..
*haven seen or talked to u since that day..
it will be awhile.. cause i'm on church strike..
posted by babyweed at 11:47 PM
2 Comments:
Ask yourself. Are you doing all these things for the right reasons? If you're trying to be happy because of her then you're wrong. If you're going to church because of her then you're wrong. You should do everything for yourself. You're only a loser if you think you are.
i am a loser, i really am
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