think too much

u know how sometimes u see something that u want..
be it a pair of shoes or a bag or whatever..
although u think it looks cool or flashy..
u might ponder whether the shoes fit u or not..
it seems expensive however u already start to like it..
somewhere in your brain u think a little of owning it..
u don't give it too much hope..
but continue to like look around..
wondering about the other pairs u've seen before..
then when u finally decided u want that pair of shoes..
the shop tells u that it has already been taken..
u go like damn..
i just knew that those shoes weren't meant for me..
it's weird that i even actually thought of buying it..
then u go like ya lor ya lor..
only thought a little ma..
when u probably have thought too much..
heheh.. yeah.. big ego still intact..
got better shoes waiting for me..

* goodbye.. nice flashy shoes..
** u weren't meant for me anyway..

Natasha

hmmm.. don't know whether to smile or laugh it off..
this is the 2nd time i got picked up outside..
i mean.. heheh.. am i at least some what cute..
went to barcode yesterday to drink..
it's a pub at boat quay..
she was a pretty hot gal..
half malay.. half eurasian
not really cute.. not really pretty..
but very very hot..
she was wearing a zipped down sweater with just a bra..
a very short skirt that exposed her sexy waist..
boy.. and she was really a good dancer..
she didn't ask for my number..
but i guess she wanted me to ask her..
she stroked my chin and said i was cute..
lol.. it's no big deal la..
i mean.. it's just a small gesture..
then she sort of cuddled up beside me and pressed her body so close..
then she asked in a tiny voice..
are u going to ask for my number..
hahaa.. then i was like..
hmmm.. i don't think i dare to..
then she was like.. oh.. okie..
hahaha.. what a geek..
but she came back later and my friend asked her to give me her number..
she was like.. he never ask also..
then i was like.. hmm.. what is your number..
hahaha.. crappy shit man..
anyway it's the next day already..
and i guess she is starting to fade away slowly in my memories..
it was a night to remember..
major ego boost for this lousy piece of shit..
kekeke..

* i'm looking more forward to the movie with miss xx..
** heheh.. don't think miss xx will be jealous even if she knew..

Growing Up

had a long and inspiring talk with mei mei last night..
realised that i am truely growing up..
i've reached a new point in my life..
where i start to see things more clearly..
suddenly feelings and emotions seem secondary..
and that life and work are more realistic..
maybe i just got bored of thinking..
dreaming of pointless things to just happen in my life..
mei mei has been right all along..
i really do feel much happier without all of my shit..
life is full of up and downs..
when times are good i feel that i can handle everything..
so motivated that nothing stands in my way..
i should really try and handle the down times with more maturity..
i easily give up and return back to my sorry state..
once problems occur or disappointment sets in..
i need to be stronger..
i want more faith to believe in the greater things that will happen..
i wish for more courage to stop my weakness..
it's not that i've become less imaginative..
it's just i feel that day dreaming don't bring results..
it does not bring disappointment..
but it gets me no where..
all i do everyday is wish for some miracle to fall out of the sky..
i want to love..
i want to get hurt..
and i want to smile whenever i fail..
i want to face the world with a never giving up heart..
with excitement and motivation..
i'm going back to church..
to start all over again..
not for dream gal or miss xx..
but for the love i have for my creator..
the one that i've always had a longing for..
the one i still refuse to acknowledge..
despite all the blessings he has bestowned on me..
welcome back happy self..
no more sad cry baby shit..

* lol.. sad dramas are starting to get boring..
** i'm into funny and happy dramas now..

bored.. tired.. can't be bothered

miss xx's blog is dead..
just like mine..
suddenly blogging seems so tiring and i can't be bothered..
so many things have happened..
no shit.. it's been like how many months..
in short.. i guess i've kind of got tired of doing the same things..
over and over again..
i am really in need of new interests and new thrills..
anyway.. i need to report to station in a few hrs time..
ta..