are

are fat people happier than thin people..
when they don't need to worry about trying to keep thin..
are ugly people happier than good looking people..
when they have lesser expectations towards others..
are poor people happier than rich people..
when they don't have to worry about their wealth..
are balding people happier than hairy people..
when they don't have to spend so much on their hair..
are shorter people happier than tall people..
when they seem to be smarter..
are specky people happier than perfect eyesight people..
when they are used to wearing specs even when they old..
are sick people happier than healthy people..
when they truely understand the meaning of living..
are handicapped people happier than able people..
when their survival is a testimonal to others..
are hungry people happier than well fed people..
when they get so much pleasure from each meal..
are sad people happier than happy people..
when after sadness is only happiness..

Sharing Happiness and Sadness

people in this world seem to share more of their happiness than sadness..
is that a good thing?.. is that a right thing?..
very often we would tell everyone around us when something good happens..
we would congratulate each other and celebrate together..
yet when we have problems..
we like to keep them to ourselves..
bearing the worries and burden alone..
would the world be a better place if everybody could just share everything..
but problems of free loaders would start appearing..
people might start expecting others to handle their difficulties..
without giving any shit themselves..
hai.. u can't please everyone..
neither can u help everyone..

"use to think that u were all laughter and smiles..
that u were living a happy and problem free life..
realised u are just like any other normal teenager..
growing up in this competitive and stressful environment of singapore..
u are struggling with jc life.. with its never ending tests and exams..
trying to cope with the countless tuitions and homework..
i understand what u are going thru.. as i myself have gone thru it..
not really good at encouragement or comfort..
as i always seem to be on the receiving end..
everybody have their good times and bad times..
yet i feel that we only share our happiness with each other..
we seldom burden each other with our worries or difficulties..

i am also going thru a mini rough patch..
was feeling fustrated about my new life at central fire station..
i thought being a medic would be fun and cool..
yet i feel that i am not adjusting fast enough to the work and conditions..
only one month and so many complaints about me..
furthermore the seniors give me extra jobs and duties as i am a junior..
i know it is normal for them to behave like that..
but i just feel miserable and irritated..
never had the chance to tell u or anymore..
but at least i feel much better now..

hai.. life is a slow and tiring process of new experiences.. adjustments and changes..
we just need to try and remember more of the good times..
while letting go of the bad memories or worrying times..
at least i have the jap dinner date with u.. i can look forward to.. "

*share your problems with me.. let me try..

miss miss xx

lately i have been thinking about u..
i've even started to email u some songs..
with the wild thought that u would suddenly check it again..
but since this time i know u are not checking..
i am able to write more stuff..
thoughts and feelings i normally wouldn't dare to tell u..
people around me are starting to ask about us..
what are we.. why are we acting like this..
heheh.. actually i kind of like the feeling that we are something..
well i don't really know what we are.. or why are we acting like this..
maybe u can explain it to me.. i mean.. hahah..
whenever i think of u.. it brings a smile to my face..
whenever i feel bored and lonely.. i know your sms will make me laugh..
i mean.. like i mean.. like what does it mean..
hai hai hai.. i'm too messed up right now to think of it..
i still need time to figure out the shit in my life..
in the meantime.. give me at least something to dream about..
a glance of the wonderful things that might happen in future..
even if it is just for a moment.. even if it turns out to be nothing..

* i am thinking more of u than dream gal..
** i am.. i really am..

Heaven

dream gal's father has returned to his heavenly home..
to rest in the arms of god..
my condolences goes out to dream gal and her whole family..
i've never met dream gal's father in real life..
times when he was sick and in hospital..
not once i took the effort to go visit him..
and now i don't have the chance anymore..
life's like that..
it is about the things u wanted to do but didn't..
it is about the changes u might have made but didn't..
it is about the words u could have said but didn't..
dream gal told me i was similar to her father..
his bad habits.. drinking and smoking..
are u showing me my future uncle?..
i am sadden.. scared and afraid..
yet i still dwell in this hell hole of mine..
forgive me heavenly father..

*rest in peace uncle..
**your wife and 3 daughters will be just fine..

driving with ah pa

went driving today with my ah pa..
i realised that we seldom do anything together..
we drove around bedok and visited dream gal's hdb block..
after which he taught me how to park..
ah pa is getting old..
he is getting sick more often..
work is also very stressful for him..
yet this useless son only knows how to enjoy life..
it is usually the next generation..
that enjoy the achievements of the present generation..
i am thankful for this wonderful father..
grateful of all the things he has provided for us..
ah pa.. i love you..
thank you for everything u have given us..
i'm sorry that i turned out a rotten egg..
and i don't return the love u have given me..
forgive me dad..

* i love you.. from the bottom of my heart..
** yet.. this love only stays in my heart..