Falling

gosh..
things are moving along so fast..
that before u know it..
u have already confessed to her..

i was not going to confess to her about my feelings so soon..
i wanted to let her know only after i came back from bkk..
never saw her as a replacement or spare tyre..
and it would be so unfair for her..
if i told her i liked her when i am still together with someone else..

but as fate had it..
i committed the WORLD'S STUPIDEST MISTAKE..
instead of sending the sms about my feelings of her to my cousin..
i sent it to her..
lol..
wah piang eh..
seriously man..
even buy 4d also not so unlucky..
this is like the worst ever..

her reply..
" Ya maybe u shd find next target. Afterall e simple gal might not suit u"
=(
i was so devastated and embarrassed that i could not sleep..
tossing and turning..
thinking that was the end of it..
the end of us..
i thought that the timing to let her know my feelings could not be even worst
when i saw your msg last night..
seriously i thought that maybe i was just thinking too many..
that it was just all one sided from me..
that u never had any feelings for me..
i wanted to cry last night..
but the fact that i let u know my feelings before i even confirm yours..
that was like the first for me..
it never happened to me b4..
lol..
and i hope it will never happen again..

but when i woke up..
the first thing i saw was your msg..
u told me that..
u thought that only you are capable of such a blunder..
but apparently not.
man..
i was so shy and angry that i wanted to delete all your msgs at the point of time..
lol..
never had i felt so vulnerable and naked before a gal..
come on..
u are the guy..
act like one pls..
kekekekeke

but i cooled down and decided how i should reply u..
i decided to play it cool and pretend last night did not happen..
i was going to act normal..
then u told me u did not mind accompanying me to go get something to eat..
lol..
u know..
i am always waiting for subtle hints like these from u..
when u msged me that..
i melted..
i so wanted to see u..
god..
it's been awhile since a gal made me feel like that..
that u get so excited when u see a msg from her..
that one small action from her..
or anything she says..
tickles your senses so badly..
makes u so panic that u do not know how to react..
lol..

i knew u were going to let me meet up with u today already..
but felt u still tried to play a bit hard to get..
when i got the feeling u wanted to see me so badly too..
u were wearing some black top and 'Jaggings'..
i guess the dressing does not matter now anymore..
anything u wear or DO NOT WEAR..
will make me salivate like banana..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

when i saw u waiting for me..
i could not stop smiling..
it was as if nothing mattered anymore..
hahaha..
i was so happy..

why do u look so cute recently..
or was there some shit in my eyes previously..
hahahah

we went to little ice cream kafe..
u started feeding me again..
man..
it was as if u were seducing me again..
i go gaga when a gal does that to me..
u kept on asking me about how i actually felt about u..
u know..
i really did not want to confess anything to u first..

i told u i started to fall in love with u after we watched that movie..
u laughed..
i told u i like when u feed me..
u smiled and ask me..
if whether i would fall in love with any gal that fed me..
in my heart i said..
not any gal.. but u only...
hahah..
i just looked at u..
act blur and said..
just like it lor..

i lay back on the sofa..
my arms on the sofa behind u..
u turned back and brought the tea cup to my lips..
so that i could sip the chamomile tea..
your face was so close to mine..
i could see the light blue contact lenses u were wearing..
it was like deja vu again..
u put down the tea cup..
and lay back on the sofa..
my arms behind u..
as if embracing u..
u adjusted yourself..
and slide down further..
eventually my face was directly above yours..
u spoke so softly and looked up at me..
gosh..
i so wanted to capture that moment..
to take a snap shot of that point in time..
u in my arms..
speaking gently into my ears..
lol..
am i thinking too much..
are u secretly trying to seduce me even more..
now that i have confessed my feelings to u..

on the way back home..
u told me u wanted your freedom..
u scared i was the possessive type..
that would want the gal all for myself..
lol..
i just laughed..
i told u i would give u all the freedom u wanted..
we talked about how i need to live with my parents as i was the eldest son..
and how u want to live with your mum..
as your bro don't really listen or pei your mum..
hahahah..
it was as if we were discussing about marriage..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

could feel that u were testing me even more..
trying to imagine how it would be if we were together..
hahahaha..
honestly i feel that if 2 persons are so madly in love..
all these small things would not matter..
yes i don't deny that alot of couples argue over this..
but this is because Singaporeans tend to put themselves first..
and not their partners..
i don't know..
i was reluctant to promise u..
all the things that u worry would not happen..
heheheh..
but just listening to the way u describe how u treat your mother..
u indeed are wifey material..
hahaha..

was a bit scared when u said that how i see u now..
may not actually be the real u..
are u kidding or for real..
that the kind and understanding gal i see now..
the funny and simple gal i like to laugh with..
WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE..
lol..
hmmmm..
sounds likes it..

u know..
a gal gets into a relationship..
hoping the guy would change but he never does..
a guy gets into a relationship..
hoping the gal would never change but she always does..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..
is the above going to apply to u..
man..

i am so confused right now..
let me get my things straight first..
before i come to u..
will u wait for me until then?
lol..
i wish u will..
cause..
i would probably want to marry the next gal i go out with..
heheh.. would that be you?

* Your words are my food, your breath my wine.. you are everything to me..
** The soul that can speak with its eyes, can also kiss with a gaze..