The Different Stages of Love

i am no love expert..
but i would say that..
during this 27 years of my life..
i have had my fair share of love..

the experts say..
love can be broken down into 5 stages..

Stage 1. Attraction
Stage 2. Romance
Stage 3. Passion
Stage 4. Intimacy
Stage 5. Commitment

Attraction
this can be further broken down into 2 areas..
physical attraction and emotional attraction..
i guess for me..
the physical attraction is the most important..
for a guy..
it would always start off by..
how u are physically attracted to the gal..
the first moment u lay eyes on her..

then after awhile..
the emotional attraction sets in..
this would be like how u connect with her..
on a deeper level..
like how u find common interests and topics..

baby i won't deny that..
i was attracted to u..
right from the moment i saw u..
i mean..
i already find u cute..
even before u went through that transformation of yours..
hehehe..
to be honest..
i was attracted to that "simple and plain" jane..
which i was not close to at the start..
then we started hanging out together..
it was always so fun doing something with u..
and i slowly looked forward to Fridays..
as there was a chance we could spend some time together..

Romance
i don't think this stage needs much explaining..
basically this is the stage where 2 persons..
starts falling in love with each other..
if u ask me..
i don't think i can specifically tell u..
when was the actual moment i started..
having romantic feelings for u..

but i can clearly say that..
it was probably around after that movie..
hehehe..
then slowly and automatically..
just wanted to be nicer to u..
it made me so happy too..
just to see a smile on your face..

i can still remember so vividly..
the times when i started being a little nicer to u..
instead of teasing u and calling u names..
u felt a little bit uneasy..
i don't know if u still remember what u said to me..
don't be too nice to me..
if not later i may fall for u..
hahaha..

baby do u remember yourself saying this..
lol..
well i do..
i guess at that point in time..
i had not actually dreamt that it would..
develop into something like this now..
but i think that it made me a little happy then..
well then the sms thing..
then the little ice cream kafe thing..
followed by the kiss in the car..
hahaha..
and here we are now..

Passion
for me..
this is the phase where we just can't get enough of each other..
the stage where we drive each other nuts..
just thinking of each other..
the way we urge for each other..
when we get separated even for just a little while..

baby..
i think right now..
we are at this stage..
it drives me crazy..
just looking at your face..
i just can't resist kissing u..
and hugging u..
the moment we are alone together..
i want to cradle u in my arms so badly..
and caress that cute and pretty face of yours..
baby i hope we will never lose this passion of ours..
that this feeling stays forever..

Intimacy
i guess that..
at this stage..
we would be so comfortable..
sharing our thoughts..
our feelings..
our dreams..
this is the stage where 2 persons become 1..
right now..
i think we are just approaching and entering this stage..

excuse me..
how long more u want to dwindle at the entrance..
time to serve the main course right..
don't u think?
lol..
can't be eating finger food for the rest of my life right..
hehehehe..
will be waiting patiently for u my dear..

Commitment
i guess this is the last stage..
where every couple would like to end up..
the final destination where it would either end in marriage..
or COHABITATION..
hahaha..

this would be the most tricky stage..
like how couples resolve their differences..
are they able to share their entire life with each other..
i mean right now..
i don't think we are even close to this stage yet..
although we are not officially together yet..
we are roughly past..
the one month mark of our relationship..

feeling a little puzzled..
why haven we had the customary 1 month argument..
lol..
i mean..
i am looking out for it now..
there were times where i thought..
this is it..
we are going to start the quarrel..
but each time i thought it was coming..
either i would force myself to diffuse the situation..
or it would just turn out that..
u were not even close to getting angry..
hahaha..
am i acting all paranoid and stupid..
i mean..
what they teach u in the textbook..
might not always be the actual case in real life..
hahahaha..
baby..
what do u think?

or is it that both of us understand each other so well already..
that we do not need to have a bicker..
to find out more about each other..
lol..

u are really turning out even better than i had even imagined..
already upgraded u to first class girlfriend material..
then it turns out..
u are even better than first class..
u liar..
u told me u not the teh-ing type..
but u always sa jiao to me..
and drive me so crazy..

u told me u so independent..
but i can feel that..
u really like to have someone..
who is always thinking of u..
and caring u more than he cares himself..

its that reverse psychology of yours again right..
writing off yourself as not up to standard..
then impressing me when i actually experience it..
lol..
very well done dear..
excellent job..
u laid the rabbit trap well..
and made the lion fall into it..
looks like there's no escaping for this silly toad anymore..
hahaha..

baby..
thanks for loving me..
and i quote u back..
love is just a word till u find someone who gives it the definition..
i found u..

u give love a meaning in my life..
i love u..

* I can't look away from you..
** Your smile takes me away from this world..
*** And the way you worry about me, just keeps me so alive..

Goodbye

i can still vividly remember the first time i met u..
it was almost ten years ago..
i never expected to see u..
yet it was as if fate brought us together..

ajc was not my first choice jc..
and i had never wanted to get into ajc..
but i scored a miserable 11 points for my prelims..
all my friends went to tjc..
except me..

ajc was so far away..
Yio Chu Kang..
and here i was..
living in Tanah Merah..
can u imagine what time i had to wake..
to sit that bloodly long train ride just to get to school..
i could tell u..
mornings in the train..
were the worst memories..

but here i was..
i met u during the first week of orientation..
they were handing it out to us..
we were told to wear it during the orientation week..
as we may be there only for the first 3 months..
we did not get proper school uniforms..
alot of us were wearing our sec 4 uniforms..
but it was orientation..
so they recommended us wearing it..

the first time i met u..
i did not think too much..
i mean..
u were not attractive..
neither did u stand out..
u were just simple and plain..
and i never expected too much from u..

i looked at u..
u did not say anything..
never would i have imagined at that point of time..
that we would spend the next 10 years together..

the first time i brought u home..
i was thinking whether it was okie..
to accept u as how u are..
i mean..
u looked okie..
so i didn't think much..
the first time i tried..
u felt so soft..
and i knew immediately..
i had found something so precious to me..

i took u out every night..
making u stay by my side..
i felt that..
the more we were together..
the better u felt..
i just could not get enough of u..

one night became a few nights..
a few nights became one week..
one week became a few weeks..
a few weeks became one month..
one month became a few months..
and suddenly..
without even me realising it..
i needed u every night..
it was as if i could not sleep..
if u were not beside me..
i needed u so badly..

but again..
being with me every night..
really took its toll on u..
i mean..
i admit i did not really take good care of u..
in fact even to the point..
of neglecting u..
when u were always there for me..
waiting patiently for me..
never complaining..
never refusing me..

soon..
time really took its toll on u..
u became so soft..
and i could see the strains i put on u..
u slowly faded..
as if letting me know..
that the end was near..
by then..
i realised..
we were together for so many years already..

i needed u so badly..
i made u follow me to australia..
i did not want u to leave my side..
u did not refuse me..
just quietly and patiently followed me..

there was once i hurt u..
stretched u so hard..
that i thought it was over..
i thought that the damage i caused was beyond repair..
yet u did not give up on me..
u did not forsake me..
i tenderly nursed u back..
but i had to seek help from others..
just to help u be normal again..

time really flies..
looking back..
i wished i had taken better care of u..
this would be the 10th year we are together..
u look so different now..
from the 1st time i saw u..
i mean..
i too have changed..
yet the memories we had together..
will forever live on in me..
i have decided to change and move on..
in fact..
i have found somone else..
someone that i hope would be able to take your place..
and give me the comfort..
and warmth that u have provide me all these years..
as i look at u..
faded and old..
i can't help but remembering the happy times we had..
and the sad times too..

goodbye..
i was glad that we met..
i would always treasure the 10 years we spent together..
i will always remember u..
all i pray now..
is that u will remember me too..
as i store u away..

i would never give u up for anything in the world..
nor change u for anything else..
i will always love u..

my AJC Orientation Tshirt that i wear every night to sleep

* As long as we have memories, yesterday remains..
** As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits..
*** As long as we have love, today is beautiful..

Mars & Venus

i was actually quite sad when u told me..
that we could not meet on wed and thur anymore..
honestly..
i was a little angry too..
i mean..
i so wanted to spend some time with u..
just the 2 of us..
after not seeing each other for like 1 week plus..

when i saw your msg this morning..
i think i got pissed a little..
then i had to cool down for awhile..
before i decided to msg u..
i mean..
i really did not want to ruin your study mood and stuff..
ya but this was what i felt earlier..

i kind of understand where u are coming from..
i was really touched when u said..
u need to go to the hospital to bring your mum home..
personally i would love a girl who would do something like this..
but i guess..
maybe i just wanted to see u so badly..
that i miss u so much i needed to hug u..
it was as if u were oxygen..
and if i did not have u..
i would just die soon..

baby thanks for calling me at the right moment..
u straight away could understand how sad i felt..
i really feel so happy now..
knowing that u too wanted to see me so badly..

i thought that..
u are turning out to be more and more like a mars..
hmmm..
how should i describe it..
i thought that maybe u are not that emotional..
or did not need me as much as i needed u..
but then..
i realised..
that u were just keeping everything inside..
that u too are sad..
that u cannot get to see me..
i guess..
that is good enough for me..

i am so venus la..
my wave really crashes..
if i don't receive the same amount of love and attention..
that i would give to others..
i guess i just need to feel full of love and energy..
so that my wave will grow more and more..
i really need the love, understanding and reassurance..
from those around me..
baby..
i hope that u will support this natural cycle of mine..
this 'venus cycle'..

i love u so much..
and i will love u even more..
love u love u love u love u love u..
thanks for always being there for me..
after today..
i really feel that we are one more step closer..
closer to understanding your heart abit more..
and mine as well..

looking forward for u to come back into my arms..
i will wait patiently dear..
and hopefully i don't sulk too much..
until all the wrinkles appear on my face..

thank u for u taking this journey with me..
a journey into the unknown..
a future where nothing matters..
as long as u are right beside me..

* Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending..
** Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air..
*** It is the place you come back to, no matter where you are headed..

Memories

i realised..
i am not that cold hearted after all..
i thought that i would not feel a thing..
but i guess..
deep down inside..
it still affected me a little..
looking at those stupid things..

thank u for those wonderful memories..
but i am going to keep u stored away..
out of sight..
far far away from my heart..

* it takes someone special to make you laugh..
** but someone even more special to make you cry..
*** goodbye..

The Perfect One?

sitting in front of the computer..
idling in my own thoughts..
counting down to the days..
when i can see u again..

wondering what u are doing now..
are u studying hard?
are u missing me?
are u thinking of me?

nothing hurts more than missing u..
waiting earnestly for u to come back into my arms..
u seem so far away..
i wish i had wings..
so that i could fly and land beside u..
to kiss u on the lips..
while u rain hamster kisses on my face..

baby..
so many things have happened..
and it has made me realised..
maybe..
u are the kind of gal i am looking for afterall..
hehe..

u know..
in the beginning..
i did have my doubts..
about whether we can be together for long..
worry whether our characters would clash..
i did not really mention it to u..
but kept it bottled inside..
because i wished that everything would work for us..

but after all this..
after all that has happened..
it has made be realise..
u are the one i want to be together with..
the one to listen to my sorrow and woes..
the one to lift my spirit and brighten my everyday..
all those doubts were slowly cast away..
and what remained..
is the love i discovered in u..

baby..
honestly..
i am falling helplessly in love with u..
i feel that i need u so much..
that i want to depend on u..
and i want to love u more and more..

at the start when u told me..
no more gambling..
no more drugs..
no more this..
no more that..
i was abit irritated..
i guess i was still trying to adapt to your ways..
but deep down inside..
there was something that was bugging me..
as if a little voice in me..
was asking..
whether it was worth it..
to give it all up for u..
i pondered..
weighing up the things i discovered with u..
and the things that i would miss..
heheheheh..
in the end..
being with u really made me much happier..
that all those things i had given up..
did not matter to me anymore..

but baby..
try to understand me okie..
don't expect me to be an angel overnight..
can feel baby giving me more space and time..
more leeway in making some decisions..
thank u dear..
i feel that slowly..
we can come to a compromise on anything..

baby i got one complaint..
hehehe..
can i say it?
hope u won't be too angry..

baby i feel that..
when we touch upon a topic..
which u disagree or have other opinions..
i feel that u get a bit worked up so easily..
your voice change..
and u get a little impatient..
heheh..
baby do u realise that?
like when i was abit hesitant to consider going for the hair transplant..
like when i didn't want u to go in with me to get the medical report..
like when i wasn't as excited as u were to go on a group tour to Japan..
baby immediately became so disappointed..
then always use reverse psychology on me..

well dear..
it's not that i am not interested..
or hate these things..
it just that these may not be the normal things i would do..
but..
but but..
of course if we talk about it..
and u slowly convince me..
i might change my mind..

when we talk about going to Europe and looking at the scenery..
i told u it might be boring for me..
then u straight away said..
it's okie i would go with renee..
haha..
why didn't u try and assure me that it would be fun with u..
or that it would be so romantic just the 2 of us..
being in such a beautiful place like Europe..

hmmmmm..
u know..
if baby really wanted to go Europe with me..
i would still go with u..
no matter how boring i think Europe is..
because..
all that matters..
is that u are beside me..
and that..
will never ever be boring..

i like the way baby slowly cool me down when i get so hot headed..
i like how baby counsel me when i argue with my family..
i like it when baby listen to all the pent up frustration i have been keeping inside..
i feel baby is slowly making me a better person..

well..
might not be all smooth sailing at the start..
sometimes i do feel suffocated..
sometimes abit naggy..
sometimes restrictive..
i have always gotten..
whatever i want..
whenever i want it..

but now..
always got a second voice..
constantly chirping beside my ear..
giving me her comments..
forcing me to consider her opinions..
before i do anything..
hehehhe..
well it ain't that bad afterall..
because..
at the end of the day..
deep down inside my small and puny heart..
i know..
that this is all for my own good..

hai..
i kind of hate it when..
everything u say..
just seems so right..
and everything i do..
just seems so wrong..
it is like u are an angel..
and i am the devil..
why the hell would an angel be loving the devil..
please tell me why..

remember how u said that maybe..
we are so imperfect for each other..
like there are so many things we cannot agree..
like how we have different opinions on certain things..
u know..
maybe i am really so imperfect for u..
that maybe..
i am not someone u imagined being together with..
wondering if whether i can make u so happy..

but..
i want to tell u something dear..
u are so perfect for me..
hehehe..
well..
that is if u minus off abit of the "nagging"..
heheheh..
i love u..

* We come to LOVE not by finding a perfect person..
** But by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly..

U Are My Everything

once in a while..
right in the middle of an ordinary life..
love gives us a fairy tale..
u meet someone so amazing..
that before u know it..
your love story has begun..
u are my princess..
u are my everything..

i will never get bored..
looking at how shy u are..
when u fell in love with me..
at how u blush when i tell u how much i love u..
looking at the sweetest gal..
that makes the cutest face..
when she doze off in my arms..

i love u because i know u are always there..
to catch me when i fall..
to guide me when i stray..
to listen when i need u..
to laugh with me when i am bored..
to tease and torture me..
and to always be there..
when i feel alone..

everytime i hear your name..
see u from a distance..
think about u..
talk about u..
dream about u..
watch u..
it always brings a smile to my face..
my heart beats a little faster..
my head feels abit light..
i am at a lost for words..
to describe this feeling that overwhelms me
and i know..
that i am so in love with u..

realising that u love someone is the strangest thing..
and it always happens at the strangest times..
u know..
up till today..
i would still secretly laugh to myself..
remembering the things that dk said..
he used to tease me saying that..
we always argue and quarrel last time..
that i always make fun of u..
calling u silly names..
laughing at your every silly mistakes..
he said that..
couples always start off like this..
that i might just end up being together with u..
i told him..
i would never date someone as plain as her..
someone as simple as her..
someone as silly as her..
lol..
i can't imagine if he actually finds out..
i think it will really be the end of me..

it is so funny..
how things change when two people fall in love..
the things that she does..
which irritates u last time..
the things that she does..
which u want to change previously..
it seems that all this doesn't matter anymore..
(haha.. unlike me.. she wants to change everything about me..)

10 things i like about u..
i like the way u smile..
i like the way u kiss me..
i like the way u feed me..
i like the way u smell..
i like the way u clip your hair up..
i like the way u pull me close to u..
i like the way u hug me when nobody is around..
i like the way u ask me to put my arms around u..
i like the way u secretly make a loving face at me in the office..
i like the way u doze off in my arms..

basically..
i like everything about u..
and everything u do..
well i guess..
what i am trying to say is that..
i love everything about u..

i never wanted anything..
other than to be your everything..
baby..
i don't mind not knowing..
what i am headed for..
not sure about what this love will bring..
u can take me to the skies..
because it is like being lost in heaven..
when i am lost in your eyes..

all i want to tell u..
is that i love u..
and that u are the only one..
that can make my heart feel so loved..
there are no other words that can really explain..
this special feeling that i have inside of me..
just knowing u are mine..

if love is when someone makes u happier..
than u have ever been or can remember..
if it is when your heart drops..
when u have to stop talking to that person..
or when all u can think about is..
being in that person's arm..
not having to say a word..
and yet having them understand everything..
or when u fall asleep at night..
and their face and words flood your dreams..
then yes..
i love u..

* Every man is afraid of something..
** That's how you know if he loves you..
*** If he is afraid to lose you..