2.12am 14 Feb 2006

it is already so late at night.. yet i am unable to fall asleep..
i still have to work at 8.30 am.. what am i supposed to do??
as i tried lying on the bed.. all i can think of is you..
no, not u dream gal.. i don't seem to dream much nowadays..

did u receive my msg?.. u must be fast asleep at this time..
u'll probably read it first thing u wake up in the morning..
don't know why but u seem to be the gal i think about nowadays..
u're the funnier one.. the one that i talk to more often..
the one that i see online more often.. the one i msges more often..

i think i am more or less over dream gal..
it's just that i need more time to totally get over you..
it is unhealthy u know.. to always be upset over you...
to drink and sprout sad things about the past..
i realise from other people.. u like to tell the world who is in love with you..
when u always seem secretive and talk so little about yourself..
do u feel proud that so many people like u..
do u feel that it is some achievement that u're so perfect..
i hate it when i laugh at the guys that u've rejected..
i was almost one of them.. was i?.. or did i chicken out just in time..
will i be remembered as someone who liked u before?..
or will i be someone who gave u up before u rejected me..
afterall.. all i said was that i am in love with u..
i did not ask you to love me..
but u know.. it might take sometime before i can totally get over u..
to not get upset or drink whenever i see u close with someone else..
it's okie.. i don't hate u.. in fact i'm going to be nicer to u..
we will still be good friends.. one sided friends at least..
as it has always been..

ah.. miss xx.. has your time come?..
on a sleepless 2006 Valentine's Day morning.. all i can think about is you..
unlike previous valentine's day.. when i was thinking of someone else..
from your cousin.. she mentioned we had a fling..
lol.. i do not even recall having a fling.. or did we?..
please explain the definition of a fling?.. i am so very curious..
do u still keep my messages.. i am starting to keep yours..
she said we keep on talking on msn and email often..
what do u think?.. lol.. how much to an extent is she right?..
ahhh.. pls tell me .. dearest miss xx..
i went gah gah and couldn't stop smiling to myself..
when she told me u reacted differently when i was around..
well.. maybe i was too busy looking at other things..
but my eyes are fixed on you right now..
grow up faster.. heheee.. i can hardly wait until u're 18..
if that is the ideal age that the CHURCH thinks dating is acceptable..
well at least i have 1 or 2 more years to change..
i hope i don't change for the worst in that stupid military shit..
keep an eye out for me too huh..

*Happy Valentine's Day... little teapot..