so she knows

all thanks to KAREN LEE MIAO XUAN..
who decided to tell miss xx that i like her..
is that a good thing..
sometimes i want miss xx to know..
yet i don't know want to give her any pressure..
would miss xx think that i am expecting something from her..
well i guess i'm not at the moment..
or at least i won't feel so bad if nothing happens
but if that is the case..
is there any need to let her know now..
i mean it is pretty obvious right..
my feelings for her..
the way i act in front of miss xx..
how i treat her..
it is different.. u don't need to like mention the obvious..
at times i wonder what miss xx thinks about us..
that's the one thing that i really want to know..

irritating karen said that miss xx is not looking for a relationship now..
was it because of soccer guy that caused u to become like that?..
okie lor.. i just want to be more than normal friends..
i don't think i'm in any state for any long term thingy anyway..
still so playful and pretty unstable..
miss xx is like wifey material..
one and one for the rest of her life..
haha.. am i right?..
hai even though i'm still pissed at karen..
i'm somewhat secretly glad that she told miss xx..
maybe miss xx suspects it but now really confirm liao lor..
i hope the next few months will be slightly more exciting..
it is boring like shit right now..
as i'm struggling with studying for my exams or rather the lack of it..
after karen told miss xx.. which i didn't know before hand..
we haven gone out since..
was that because miss xx found out my feelings for her..
or is it just that school has reopened..
furthermore i decided to skip fellowship liao..
then even lesser chances to go out with miss xx alone..
hai hai.. i should really start going back to fellowship..
for god.. for miss xx.. for myself

no use thinking so much right now also..
feeling sad is only torturing myself..
i guess i'm somewhat expecting something now that she knows..
BUT YOU KNOW IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!..
well i know that she knows..
but she thinks i don't know that she knows..
wonder what will it be when i look at her now..
if i give her a weird look..
she might think that i think that she knows..
then she is going to act blur and pretend she don't know anything..
when she already know everything.. hahah..
haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

* i already thought of what i want to do with u on valentine's day..
** but then i don't know whether u will be free also..