Tired

nothing much to post..
didn't really think much of u two these few days..
well.. was thinking a little of dream gal..
not much.. don't really know what to do right now..
i've ask for guidance from above..
i'm going to leave everything to him for the moment..
i guess i really do want to trust him more..
well.. if we are meant to be.. he'll lead u to me..
in the meantime.. i shall be working hard in my life..
controlling and supressing my desires..
training hard for my national service.. as a faggy fireman..
haha.. yes.. civil defence.. haha..
laugh all u want mate.. he chose it for u..
u know.. i really think that it is not a bad choice after all..
although i am sulking and fussing a little..
he really is looking after me.. allowing me not to go through so much shit..
well.. it's probably a different kind of shit..
haha.. still have a chance to be an officer..
that's my goal.. not going to be some faggy man or service site bull..
i'm going to work hard.. try my best in whatever i do..
went running today.. after 2hrs of ping pong yesterday...
ping pong again tomorrow.. hahah.. i'm starting to sound like Forest Gump..
life suddenly feels so relaxed.. so easy.. so beautiful...
just close your eyes.. and let everything fall into place..
i've changed my mind again.. maybe i still want dream gal afterall..
haha.. with all the i can't make up my mind crap..
maybe he is waiting for me to decide.. after which he will serve me the gf dish..
well.. come get me gals.. before i make up my mind..
haha.. otherwise it might be too late then..
tired but happy..
i wish everyday will be more like today..
suddenly have a crazy idea of getting baptized...
hahah.. maybe the time has really come..
i do feel the calling and holy spirit and blah blah blah..

anyways.. sis bought me a polo tee today..
it's kind of a funny colour.. dirty brown with red stripes..
haha.. thanks mei.. haven really bought u anything since i came back..
will make a mental note to buy u something when i have the money..

*No smoking - Day 3