Dream Gal vs Miss XX

i am not comparing..
why should i.. they are 2 different people..
one makes me wanna cry..
the other makes me wanna laugh..
after sadness comes happiness..
and while happiness can't last forever..
u either become a little bit normal or not so happy after feeling happy..
logically.. one would choose laughter over tears..
yet i refuse to give up my stupid fantasy..

u know.. as each month and year passes by..
i feel that we are growing apart..
slowly but surely..
yet i can see u and pot of rice grow stronger each day..
i am starting to face reality..
somehow i feel that he might be someone better for u..
i'm not under-rating myself..
i just want u to be happy..
and if i can't give u that.. i hope that pot of rice can..
last sunday started out as a fairytale..
i came with my cousin abit late and spotted u sitting alone..
boy.. was i over the moon when we chose to sit beside u..
this is probably the first time we sat side by side in church..
u are either in the choir or sitting beside someone but me..
i stole glances at u.. your side view.. your feet.. your hands..
everything except to stare right in your face..
u were wiggling your front toes..
haha.. probably because of the hymns.. not me right..
i watched u every moment from the corner of my eye..
u looked so beautiful.. so exquisite... so lovely..
yet this beautiful creature cannot be mine..
knowing u want something.. but not being able to get it.
i hate that feeling..

this one makes me laugh.. responding to my jokes..
u have more of the qualities i am looking for in a gal..
sometimes i think i expect too much from the gal i imagine i will be with..
u seem to be gradually growing into a girl i prefer..
but u're so young.. and not that innocent anymore..
u "flirt" more with me now.. haha..
i read our message history we had tonight all over again..
and i can't help smiling..
somewhere.. somehow.. i feel something for u ..
i don't know what it is.. and i don't dare to describe it.
i like someone that drives me nuts..
someone that makes me laugh..
someone to laugh at my silly jokes..
and someone who cries with me when i am sad..
u're more that of a person than dream gal..
although both of u are not as emotional as i wished u were..
hahaa.. me and my stupid fantasies..

* i feel like using the real names of all the characters in my blog..
haha.. so that u guys might accidentally discover it..
sending emails and songs suddenly seem so yesterday..
** need to think of new and fresh ideas..