quotes collector

i've been collecting quotes for a few years now..
funny ones..
sad ones..
ridiculous ones..
and just plain stupid ones..

anyway this is just too hilarious..
i really have to post this..

有一天，一位漂亮的SYT 问我：“什么是魔鬼，地狱和天堂。”
我回话说：“在我两脚中间有个魔鬼，在你两脚中间有个地狱，
只要把魔鬼送入地狱我们就可以上天堂了...”

the next one is okie only..

老婆是电视, 情人是手机..
在家看电视, 出门带手机..
破产卖电视, 发财买手机..
偶而看电视, 整天玩手机..
电视終身不收费, 手机欠费就停机..

* everybody wants to go to heaven..
** but nobody wants to die..