stupid old fashion man

is it just me?..
or is messaging good night to your loved one everyday..
no longer in fashion anymore..
maybe when u start dating..
u would take the time and effort..
to let your darling know..
that she is constantly on your mind..
but what the heck..
why can't u message me good night every night?..
WE FUCKING JUST STARTED DATING..

suddenly i don't feel like blogging..
i don't know why..
i just feel that my emotions are slowly draining me away..
just a little..
cause u are not gone yet..
but u will be..
tomorrow..
we had such a lovely 2 days..
well up till like 6 hrs ago..
and then u just ditched me like a fucking ass..
why am i always the dumb fuck..
being made to wait for hours..
why the fuckkkkkk..

i am fucking angry..
fucking pissed..
and u're leaving tomorrow..
i should be fucking sad..
i wanted to write down all the lovely times we had..
but no..
u had to fucking go and fucking spoil the fucking last day..
always man..
like what the fuck..
fucking last days..
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY..
is it just me..
or does nobody fucking care anymore..
for the fucking last days..
oh my fucking god man..
i've kept your ring away already..
stored it together with all the other useless memories..
we had so many plans..
we decided on so many things today..
but no..
no fucking no..
u just had to piss me off..
well maybe u have no fucking idea..
how fucking pissed off i am right now..
if u didn't want me to wait for u on the last day..
just fucking call me and ask me to fucking go home..
u did not even fucking bother to fucking TELL ME..
how fucking hard is that..
GO HOME..
2 words..
what the fuck man..
and it's like fucking almost 12.30am..
12 fucking 30 am..
i waited for u since 6.30pm..
what are u thinking..
what is going thru your fucking brain right now..
i thought that maybe u could be the first one..
the first gal i wouldn't get pissed at..
u were probably the nicest gal ever..
so far..
the one that cared for me the most..
the one who pampered me so much..
yet..
yet u had to be like all of them..
the fucking rest of them..
and piss me off on the last fucking day..
u know i have a Deloitte interview tomorrow..
yet i was willing to stay out all night..
just to give u a final hug goodbye..
u..
gina niyada..
became like one of the rest..
soon to be written off..
soon to be forgotten..
sigh..
maybe it's just me..
MAYBE IT'S JUST FUCKING ME..

i love u..
i loved u..
i hope i will continue to love u..
i really wish..
that u would keep your promise..
we'll see..
in a few weeks..
in a few months..
whether..
there will be an ever after for us..
goodbye my dear..

* u melted my heart right from the start..
** yet smashed it into a million pieces on the final day..