4 months ----- almost love

i had planned for us to go out this week..
so wanted to.. badly wanted to watch the korean movie with u..
but instead.. u have tuition..
instead i have a test on friday..
instead i have guard duty on sat..
are these just mere concidences..
somehow i feel that we are not meant to go out..
is there some greater power that is stopping the both of us..
when u asked me whether i was going fellowship this sat..
did u want to ask whether we could go out for lunch?..
hmm... that was what i thought..
was it what u were thinking?..
was it???.. was it..
anyway i wanted to write u a card...
telling u the password to the email account i setup for u..
it has been four months since i sent songs or emails to you.
it just seems wierd now..
i wanted to start sending u songs again.
but u haven checked that email for almost nine months now..
soon it is going to be one year..
i was disappointed when u said u have tutition on wed night..
but oh well.. maybe it's because i expect u to agree too easily..
don't know whether to ask u again out next week..
i don't like to ask 2 times..
cause if u say no again next week..
this petty freak might just ignore u for another 2 months.

*sigh... stupid bipolar disorder moron..
u can be so nice sometimes..
but u're horrible like fuck the next moment..