love

sometimes i wonder whether i truly understand love..
is there a universal understanding of love..
love might mean something for someone..
but another person might view it very different..
there is no denying love..
everybody wants to love..
and likes to be loved in return..

the girls i have met..
the girls i have loved..
are these what i am looking for?..
love to me feels so cheap..
love needs to be easy before i even accept it..
i've always believed that i would love a gal..
only if she has feelings for me first..
hence for all the girls i've met..
love does not seem to last long with them..
i get angry so easily..
and can start hating someone the next instant..
am i only filled with selfish love..
will love never be satisfying for me..
when all i look for is something i can love right now..
i hate getting hurt..
i hate being left wondering in doubt about love..
but is my understanding of love so very wrong??..

i've always wished to meet the perfect gal..
to fall in love the perfect way..
to have the perfect love..
but then..
nothing’s perfect..
girl, love and life..
none is perfect..
life is about satisfying yourself..
so you have to choose..
life is about taking chances and making choices..
with which i always seem to be making the wrong ones..
the things i am seeking..
the hugs and kisses i want..
maybe just someone to go out and spend time with..
but after awhile..
these loves do not sustain me..
they can't make me happy..
maybe for that few days..
maybe for that few weeks..
but i wake up soon after..
feeling empty and lonely again..
i might have thought..
one of them could change my life..
no i did thought..
if one of them had, would i have been happier?..
in the end..
none did..

do you know what love is?..
do you even know what your type is?..
can u justify how you lead your life right now?..
are the choices u make right now, going to help u in future?..
i don't know..
but i am sick of deceiving myself..
tried of looking for love that doesn't last..
starting from today..
i am going to try and change..
i am going to look for someone that i truly love..

* you should love yourself, to love others..
** you should be honest with yourself, to give anybody love..