Are You Ready

my baby brought me to Fosters for dinner on my birthday..
it is a romantic english rose cafe at Holland V..
i am so glad that she was the one beside me..
to celebrate my birthday together with me..

was thinking at first that..
maybe this year..
i would be alone for my birthday..
baby..
thanks for choosing me..
for deciding to love this stupid toad..
being with u everyday..
listening how u tease me..
sharing all my stupid and embarrassing moments..
dreaming of a happy future with u..
is much more than anything else..
i want to do right now..
baby..
thanks for walking right into my life..
and opening my heart..
for me to share my life with u..

i think that when u fall in love with someone..
u just want to spend every single day with her..
u never cease to amaze me..
and being with u is always full of surprises..
we always have something new to laugh about everyday..
we always discover things we never knew about each other..
the way u laugh..
the way u sneeze.
even the way u yelp in pleasure..
all these makes me want to love u more with each passing day..
i feel so excited.
knowing that it is always a new adventure with u..
our love..
our love story..
our memories..
i can't wait to create all these with u..

feel so thankful that we can share everything with each other..
i know that we have our differences.
like how we think differently about certain things..
but but..
baby..
i hope i can continue to understand u more and more..
baby..
promise me..
u will let me know all the feelings in your heart..
and i promise u..
i won't keep any feelings from u..

don't want to be lonely again..
don't want to face this world all by myself..
don't want to take all the shit that is thrown at me alone..

suddenly..
quietly..
u realise that..
from this moment forth..
u will no longer pass through this world alone..
like a new sun..
this awareness rises within u..
freeing u from all your fears and anxiety..
opening your life..
changing u entirely..
this is the beginning of love..
and the end of all that came before..

* If I could be an angel, I would make your every wish come true..
** But i am only human, just a stupid toad loving u..

So In Love

baby..
i can't stop calling u baby..
i can't stop kissing u..
i can't stop hugging u..
i just can't stop having enough of u..

u are one of the best things that has ever happened to me..
u are my love..
and everyday that goes by..
it seems like i discover something new about u to love..

the way u snuggle on my shoulder..
the way u gingerly touch my cheeks..
the way u kiss my fat lips..
the way u breathe softly on my neck..
the way u gently stroke my hand..
the way u laugh at my silly jokes..
the way u tease me non-stop..

baby..
i can't get enough of u..
it is incredible to me..
how one person can make such a big difference in my life..
u touch me in a way no one else ever has..
u give me so many reasons to smile..
and to laugh..
i have never been so happy..
and i have never been so much in love..

maybe because we were already so close previously..
that we knew the things that made us happy..
and the things that would make us sad..
maybe it was like the whole time..
you and i were walking around these feelings we had for each other..
until one day we just tripped over them and fell in love..
i must say it is the best trip i have ever taken..

baby..
do u remember that day..
that day when all of a sudden..
out of the blue..
u and i became absolutely crazy about each other..
maybe not u..
but i sure went crazy..

baby..
thanks for being by my side..
to celebrate my birthday with me today..
i am so touched by the msg u sent me just now..
and i quote..

"Hope I will be by ur side to celebrate many more birthdays wif u n tat u will never be alone again. Hope I can bring u happiness n joy wif each passing day showering u my love, care n concern *smooch smooch* :)"

baby..
since when u had such a sweet tongue..
stop it..
i am getting diabetes soon..

there are so many things i want to say to you..
so many things i want to experience with u..
u can look at me..
but u don't even know what it does to me inside..
my heart is bursting..
i can't breathe..
whenever i see u in the office..
my eyes sparkle..
and my smile shines..

u have no idea how torturing it can be..
to see u so close beside me..
yet not being able to kiss and touch u..
it is like taking a fish out of the water..
and watching it squirm in agony..
that is how i feel

baby..
i want to share my love with u..
i want to share my happiness with u..
i want to share my tears with u..
i want to share my strength with u..
my smiles, my joy, my laughter, my good days, my bad days, my everything..
i want to share my life with u..
u and u only..
no one but u..

* Two people can be friends..
** But at one point or another, one of them will fall for the other..
*** Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe.. just maybe.. forever..

Our First Kiss

22 November 2010..
i will always remember this date..
the day i get to kiss my dear dear for the first time..

when i look into yours eyes..
i knew it was true..
my heart never lies..
i am so in love with u..
i will always remember our first kiss..
the day your lips caress mine..
i wish i can be with u everyday..
i love so such..
more than words could ever say..

dear dear..
i never thought that being in love with u..
would feel like this..
when u changed my whole world..
with just one kiss..

sometimes i still can't believe..
that u are the angel beside me..
if this is a dream..
i would never want to wake up..

anticipating the future in excitement..
i can't wait to discover..
what's installed for us..

* The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched..
** They must be felt with the heart.. I love you..

Glimpses of the Future

can't believe the 'nagging' started so fast..
lol..
hehehe..

1. wash hands after using toilet..
2. cannot smoke more than 5 sticks a day..
3. cannot cut my fags..
4. go for hair transplant..
5. cannot watch too many videos..
6. cannot gamble..
7. cannot take drugs..
8. get nicer clothes..
9. cannot hold hands within office vicinity..
10. go to the gym and workout..
11. cannot eat too much fried stuff..
12. limit sugar intake..
13. be nicer to family..
14. eat dinner with parents downstairs
15. don't pass evil comments about others..
16. to consider getting an iPhone..
17. must use tissue to dig my nose..
18. sing a song for dear dear

wah..
so soon already spell out so many conditions for me..
i think i need to get a notebook soon..
so that i can constantly remind myself..

lol..
what am i getting myself into..
hehehe..
dear dear..
please be kinder to me can..
feeling abit overwhelmed by your requests..

but but..
i will try my best to change for u..
i love u so much right now..
i feel that there is nothing i cannot do for u right now..

feeling so happy..
getting to talk to u everyday..
knowing that there is someone who is so concerned about me..
hate those days where i am always alone in the house..
soon those days will be gone..
now that i know u will be by my side..

dear dear..
i like it when u tell me..
let's go explore new places and try new food..
i like to hear..
that u want to cuddle on the bed and watch a movie in my room..
i like to know..
that u are wondering when we will be going for our first overseas trip..

i guess all these come in a package..
hehehe..
some good..
some 'not so good'..
but at the end of the day..
as long as u are happy..
i guess that would make me so happy too..

i know u have your doubts and concerns..
that it might not work out for us..
i hope that i will slowly change that mindset of yours..
that u will realise..
how wonderful it is to be in love..
to be in love with this ugly toad..

i love u for who u are..
maybe u are so perfect right now..
that there is nothing i want u to change..
except for u to continue to feed me..
and to love me more and more with each passing day..

dear dear..
i don't know what the future holds for us..
but i would not worry about it..
as i know..
all that matters..
is that i have found u..

* Happiness is knowing that somewhere, there is someone who only cares for you, someone who will pick you up when you fall..
** Someone who only knows you, who will hold you when you cry and embrace you when you smile..
*** Happiness is when you know that person is just for you..

A Little Piece of Heaven

u looked so angelic today..
short black dress with black leggings..
oh my gosh..
my nose bled when i saw your dressing..
quick stuff some tampons into my nose..

i asked u..
how many heads u want to turn at the AGM tonight..
u said..
as many heads as possible..
=(..
then u added..
but 1 homeless pig's head would do..
hehehe..
i could not stop grinning to myself in the office..

i realised..
u never fail to make me laugh..
nowadays..
being with u..
always makes me so happy..
i wish u will continue and continue..
to make me smile everyday..

feel so close to u right now..
it is like..
u are almost mine..
my small requests..
my little wants..
u will not say no..
'I m fine wif anything. Y not u make e plan'
hehehe..

went back to my place after work..
so that i can change before heading to the AGM..
it feels like bringing my gf back to my house..
u saw my mum and dad..
what did u think?
did u like them..
as much as u like me?

u know how sometimes u dream about things..
like winning 4d or toto..
i did it BRO..
my dream came through today..
i got the royal flush..
lol..
and it all happened at the Arena..

both of us reached quite late..
they had already started drinking..
got a few drinks for dear dear..
was pretty chill out at the start..
then after awhile..
they started downing more and more..

could see that dear dear was getting abit high..
she started talking louder and louder..
she seems so excited..
i glanced at her..
she was busy talking to the rest..
dear dear and i took a picture..
with her arms around my shoulder..
hehehe..
so happy..
but when i saw the picture she took with chinaman..
was abit envious of that idiot..
lol..
cannot cannot be petty..
if not later dear dear not happy..

we laughed and we joked..
thought today would be a normal night..
but all was about to change..

sometimes in life..
u look back at those life changing moments..
where u knew..
from that moment on..
your life had changed forever..
tonight was one of those moments..

i wanted to smoke..
so me and dear dear went outside the club..
i looked at her lovingly..
finally a quiet moment just the 2 of us..
hehe..
on the way back into the club..
she looked back at me..
then hooked her arms into mine..
her gentle fingers trying to grasp my hand..
at first i thought she just brushed my fingers..
then i realised..
she was trying to hold my hand..
heheh..
i was so stunned..
i mean..
was so shy before tonight to even stand in her presence..
but now the angel was trying to hold my hand..
i act blur and played along..
letting her fingers guide themselves into hand..

we held hands for awhile..
very briefly..
once inside..
she let go..
lol..
at that point i thought..
hmmm..
maybe her hands were just itchy or what..
hahahah..

later..
i went to look for dear dear and chinaman who went to the toilet..
saw them on the way back to the table..
chinaman ran off first..
then left the 2 of us..
she turned around to reach for my hands..
heheheh..
i gave it to her..
she held my hands..
and led me to stand beside the music equipment..
we made small talk..
all the while i could not stop smiling..
looking at her hands grasping my hands gently..
boy..
is this heaven or what..

dear dear got quite high afterwards..
she was dancing quite wildly on the dance floor..
first time see her so let loose and wild..
hehehe..
i loved it..

we went back to our table..
she would secretly grasp my hand underneath the table..
and when she saw someone coming..
she would gei siao let go..
lol..
i like..
later she again took my hands..
and put it around her waist..
then leaned gently in my arms
smiling so sweet and whispering softly in my ears..
MAN..
i could not resist anymore..
and put my arms around her..
at that moment..
i felt like we were a real couple already..
so blissfully happy..
as if it was a dream..

when we left the club..
it was as if our hands bua tio superglue..
no matter how hard i tried..
my hands just seem to end up together with hers..
heheheh..
i could not stop holding your hand..
if u did not know..
i so love holding hands..

we went to coffee club afterwards..
could not stop staring at her cute face across the table..
my oh my..
is that the cutest face ever or what..
i asked her..
is R more important than me..
she answered..
of course R la..
i asked her..
'is that your final answer?'.
AH HAHAHAH..
but intelligent dear dear immediately answered..
'can i call a friend?'
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..
i seriously could not stop laughing
then she added..
'she wants to be a millionaire'.
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
and the funniest line tonight goes to dear dear..

in the car..
on the way back to her house..
our hands still refused to separate..
not even giving our palms some air to breathe..
heheheh
i am so so so overjoyed..
i don't know how to describe it..
then once in a while..
she would tenderly lay on my shoulder while i drove..
while i stroked her fingers..
if this is not heaven..
i don't know what is..

at the lift of her block..
we bid farewell..
before she entered the lift..
she turned and faced me..
then gently pecked me on the lips..
my mind went blank..
i fell in love..

i will ask her to be mine soon..
soon..
very soon..

and our love story began today..

* To love someone is nothing..
** To be loved is something..
*** But to be loved in return by the one you love is everything..

Devoid of Feelings

devoid of feelings..
feeling so empty right now..
the memories feel so distant..
as if it was almost a dream..

i often catch myself..
constantly wondering how you are..
sitting alone with my mind so far..
reminiscing about your smile..
your voice and your touch..
damn..
i can't believe it is over..

i thought u would have done it more gracefully..
at least face to face..
yet it was just an sms..

u could see all the tell tale signs..
that it was slowly coming to an end..
were these 2 years meaningful to u..
it made me a better person..
that's for sure..

well i guess..
there's no point holding on..
to someone who doesn't want to be with u..
not once did i mention u here..
maybe it was just a premonition..
that i knew back then..

i thought u might have at least broken the record..
for the gal that stayed by my side the longest..
in the end..
u barely made it..

looking back..
u could say that..
everything started from u..
and now..
ended with u..

if u could turn back time..
where would u go back?
for me..
i wished i had taken better care of u..
when instead it was always u..
that was forever looking after me..

it was worth it..
i would gladly give up another 2 years just for u..
u will forever have a special place in my heart..

* I dropped a tear in the ocean..
** The day you find it, is the day i will stop missing you..

This Afternoon

u were thinking so much yesterday..
is it my turn today?
was feeling abit sad because i did not receive any sms from u in the afternoon..
and i did not msg u back because didn't want to disturb u..
(NO.. THE REAL REASON IS THAT I AM AN MCP SO I DID NOT WANT TO MSG U WHEN U DID NOT MSG ME BACK)..
was sulking the whole afternoon..
then end up not doing any office work i brought home yesterday..

i feel like i am so weak..
so useless..
why can't i be more independent..
seems like i always need to rely on my other half..
started thinking and comparing SG gals..
hmmm..
so this is how it feels like going out with an SG gal..
haha..
was what i thought so..
maybe not suitable for my taste afterall..

we had some great conversations last night..
discussed some topics which i never imagined we would talk about..
intellectually sound..
very opinionated..
but the things u say..
seems to have left behind..
a lingering doubt inside me..

it started to daunt on me..
maybe..
just maybe..
it would not be as easy as i expected..
i mean..
considering my MCP character..
so used to being pampered by the gal..
going out with someone as independent as u..
makes me wonder..
what kind of a relationship ours would be..
if we actually get together..
is this what u were thinking about last night?

but just when i thought that all the initial euphoria is slowly subsiding..
she msged me..
'Wanna chat wif me on e phone while u acc me eat?'
lol..
i smiled..
hahaha..
what was i thinking the whole afternoon..
she do misses me after all..
hahahah..
immediately became so happy..

i guess SG gals ain't that bad afterall..
but must slowly get used it..
lol lol lol..
hopefully i won't be so MCP..
the next time she is by my side..

* Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect..
** It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections..

The 'Stupidest' Gal in the World

why are u thinking so much..
love is not something u can plan or foresee..
if u could..
there would not be any sad people in this world anymore..
life is all about the happy moments and the sad memories as well..
don't try and force it on yourself..
if the feeling comes it comes..
if not..
then it was never meant to me..

being nice to u now..
does not mean it will suddenly change me into becoming a whole new different person..
i am still who i am..
petty..
arrogant..
selfish..
but yet..
i will always care for the one i love the most..
to put her in the number one position in my life..
u have become the most important gal in my life..

don't u get it..
nobody is perfect..
u can never find a perfect someone in this world..
where u would be happy forever..
we are bound to have arguments in the future..
and i can't promise u i won't get angry or be petty..
over something u will do in the future..

so what is the point of trying to ensure that our love is going to be problems free..
how are u going to judge whether this relationship is the final one..
u can't..
it is impossible..
i know it may be difficult for us to be together..
the fact that we work together everyday..
the so many obstacles we may have to overcome in our lives..
my stupid and crazy character..
your fragile heart that was hurt so deep previously..
but does all this matter?
what is more important is whether u have found somemore..
that u care for more than yourself..
that u will continue to try and understand him/her even more with each passing day..

i don't have the answer for everything right now..
all i will be doing..
is to ask u to hold my hand..
and walk beside me into the future..

still can't believe we even had that conversation last night..
it was as if..
she pried me open..
and peered right into the darkest and deepest side of me..
are u sure u want to know all of my secrets..
aren't u afraid that it may just scare yourself away..

bet u did not know..
that i was fantasizing about us while watching that erotic korean movie..
again u sat so close beside me..
man..
i tried so hard to resist your touch..
like when u turned and came within a few centimeters of my face..
i so wanted to pull u close..
and grab u into my arms..
wow..
u are really testing my self control and my patience..
u really are..
it is so dangerous playing with fire..
u never know when everything will just ignite..

at the end of the day..
u told me u were not sure whether u had any feelings for me..
or u just missed the feeling of someone being nice to u..
my heart shattered..

* It is better to have loved and lost.. then never to have loved at all..
** We come to love not by finding a perfect person.. but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly..

Princess

can't believe i am suddenly so addicted to blogging..
how long has it been..
still remembered i stopped for like 1 year..
then suddenly i have been blogging for 3 days in a row..

now u are constantly on my mind..
i think about u the moment before i go to bed..
and u are the first person i think of the moment i wake up..
somemore i get to see u ALL DAY in the office..
hehehe.
i can't seem to get u out of my mind..

it was as if u changed from an ugly duckling to a princess overnight..
just a few weeks ago i was laughing at your 'curtain' dressing..
putting u down for being so slow and lazy..
laughing at your clumsiness..
lol..
now i just can't bring myself to say anything that would hurt your feelings..
why la..
what is happening to me..
it is like u have taken my heart away from me..
and locked it inside u..
i can't help but smile whenever i see your cute face..

heys heys..
did u know what happened to the clown that was sitting in front of the glass door..
i don't see her anymore..
hahaha..
where did u hide her?

so wanted to talk to u when u reached the office..
but u did not turn on your communicator..
=(..
approached u but u seemed so busy..
then i did not want to disturb u..
so just gei siao print email one by one..
then walk to printer and gaze at you..
but i'm glad we went home together..
at least i had u all for myself for a short while today..
=)..

lol..
liking a gal in the workplace can be tricky..
pros..
u get to see the one u like so often..
both of u will be like always together..
how sweet is that..
cons..
so many kaypohs who want to find out..
cannot hold her hand if not later so many people gossip..
lol..

don't know la..
worried abit for u..
i don't want u to be teased by the rest..
i mean..
it's fine if everything is directed at me..
just hope u won't suffer..

hmmm..
she has become bolder..
sending me a picture we took at little ice cream kafe where i told her how i felt..
then making me imagine who she is thinking of..
rrrrr..
even to the extend of giving me a future name..
lol..
"baby boy"..
like since when do u plan so far ahead..

first time i am losing control of the rules of attraction..
usually i am the one in control..
but now it feels like she is holding my nose and bringing me wherever she wants..
so irritating..
since when did u have so much control over me..
i should be the master and u are the slave u know..
not the other way round..

sometimes i wonder if she actually does have any feelings for me..
i mean..
we were just only goods friends until like last week..
wah so easy meh..
just be nice to u abit..
then suddenly everything just took off..
lol..
i wonder..
if i had been nicer to u at the start..
i wonder where we would be right now..
lol..
in my arms?
haha..
fat hope..

feeling apprehensive..
worried about the future..
not sure what to expect..
delicious ambiguity..

* Love is like playing the piano, for you have to play it by the rules..
** Then you slowly forget the rules, and play it by your heart..
*** I found you..

Falling

gosh..
things are moving along so fast..
that before u know it..
u have already confessed to her..

i was not going to confess to her about my feelings so soon..
i wanted to let her know only after i came back from bkk..
never saw her as a replacement or spare tyre..
and it would be so unfair for her..
if i told her i liked her when i am still together with someone else..

but as fate had it..
i committed the WORLD'S STUPIDEST MISTAKE..
instead of sending the sms about my feelings of her to my cousin..
i sent it to her..
lol..
wah piang eh..
seriously man..
even buy 4d also not so unlucky..
this is like the worst ever..

her reply..
" Ya maybe u shd find next target. Afterall e simple gal might not suit u"
=(
i was so devastated and embarrassed that i could not sleep..
tossing and turning..
thinking that was the end of it..
the end of us..
i thought that the timing to let her know my feelings could not be even worst
when i saw your msg last night..
seriously i thought that maybe i was just thinking too many..
that it was just all one sided from me..
that u never had any feelings for me..
i wanted to cry last night..
but the fact that i let u know my feelings before i even confirm yours..
that was like the first for me..
it never happened to me b4..
lol..
and i hope it will never happen again..

but when i woke up..
the first thing i saw was your msg..
u told me that..
u thought that only you are capable of such a blunder..
but apparently not.
man..
i was so shy and angry that i wanted to delete all your msgs at the point of time..
lol..
never had i felt so vulnerable and naked before a gal..
come on..
u are the guy..
act like one pls..
kekekekeke

but i cooled down and decided how i should reply u..
i decided to play it cool and pretend last night did not happen..
i was going to act normal..
then u told me u did not mind accompanying me to go get something to eat..
lol..
u know..
i am always waiting for subtle hints like these from u..
when u msged me that..
i melted..
i so wanted to see u..
god..
it's been awhile since a gal made me feel like that..
that u get so excited when u see a msg from her..
that one small action from her..
or anything she says..
tickles your senses so badly..
makes u so panic that u do not know how to react..
lol..

i knew u were going to let me meet up with u today already..
but felt u still tried to play a bit hard to get..
when i got the feeling u wanted to see me so badly too..
u were wearing some black top and 'Jaggings'..
i guess the dressing does not matter now anymore..
anything u wear or DO NOT WEAR..
will make me salivate like banana..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

when i saw u waiting for me..
i could not stop smiling..
it was as if nothing mattered anymore..
hahaha..
i was so happy..

why do u look so cute recently..
or was there some shit in my eyes previously..
hahahah

we went to little ice cream kafe..
u started feeding me again..
man..
it was as if u were seducing me again..
i go gaga when a gal does that to me..
u kept on asking me about how i actually felt about u..
u know..
i really did not want to confess anything to u first..

i told u i started to fall in love with u after we watched that movie..
u laughed..
i told u i like when u feed me..
u smiled and ask me..
if whether i would fall in love with any gal that fed me..
in my heart i said..
not any gal.. but u only...
hahah..
i just looked at u..
act blur and said..
just like it lor..

i lay back on the sofa..
my arms on the sofa behind u..
u turned back and brought the tea cup to my lips..
so that i could sip the chamomile tea..
your face was so close to mine..
i could see the light blue contact lenses u were wearing..
it was like deja vu again..
u put down the tea cup..
and lay back on the sofa..
my arms behind u..
as if embracing u..
u adjusted yourself..
and slide down further..
eventually my face was directly above yours..
u spoke so softly and looked up at me..
gosh..
i so wanted to capture that moment..
to take a snap shot of that point in time..
u in my arms..
speaking gently into my ears..
lol..
am i thinking too much..
are u secretly trying to seduce me even more..
now that i have confessed my feelings to u..

on the way back home..
u told me u wanted your freedom..
u scared i was the possessive type..
that would want the gal all for myself..
lol..
i just laughed..
i told u i would give u all the freedom u wanted..
we talked about how i need to live with my parents as i was the eldest son..
and how u want to live with your mum..
as your bro don't really listen or pei your mum..
hahahah..
it was as if we were discussing about marriage..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

could feel that u were testing me even more..
trying to imagine how it would be if we were together..
hahahaha..
honestly i feel that if 2 persons are so madly in love..
all these small things would not matter..
yes i don't deny that alot of couples argue over this..
but this is because Singaporeans tend to put themselves first..
and not their partners..
i don't know..
i was reluctant to promise u..
all the things that u worry would not happen..
heheheh..
but just listening to the way u describe how u treat your mother..
u indeed are wifey material..
hahaha..

was a bit scared when u said that how i see u now..
may not actually be the real u..
are u kidding or for real..
that the kind and understanding gal i see now..
the funny and simple gal i like to laugh with..
WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE..
lol..
hmmmm..
sounds likes it..

u know..
a gal gets into a relationship..
hoping the guy would change but he never does..
a guy gets into a relationship..
hoping the gal would never change but she always does..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..
is the above going to apply to u..
man..

i am so confused right now..
let me get my things straight first..
before i come to u..
will u wait for me until then?
lol..
i wish u will..
cause..
i would probably want to marry the next gal i go out with..
heheh.. would that be you?

* Your words are my food, your breath my wine.. you are everything to me..
** The soul that can speak with its eyes, can also kiss with a gaze..

Platonic Love

" Platonic love is a chaste and strong type of love that is non-sexual. The term "platonic love" can also be referred to as a secret love or an unrequited love.

A platonic friendship brings together people of the opposite sex and joins them in the strong bond of friendship. A person does not have to be your boyfriend or girlfriend to be your companion. Opposite sex individuals can share laughs and tears and develop lifelong platonic friendships. "

u would not believe if i told u that the first time i saw her..
i called her names like 'simple simple stupid stupid'..
'airport'..
'小笨'..
hahaha..
thinking back..
i wish i had not been so mean to her..

it's so funny how love twirls u around for the ride..
when i first met her 2 years old..
i could not even imagine that i would even have feelings for her..
she is just like a GND..
plain jane..
someone nice to irritate and tease..
still remember the first few times i laughed at her..
like when she poured coffee on the client's files..
like when she had to file GST F7s not once but twice..
like how she overslept and came to work so late..
hahahahahahahaha

i guess to her..
i was like the most irritating and petty guy she has ever met..
still remember the SYOG incident where i got pissed at her over something so small..
haha..
yes i admit it was my pettiness that caused us to argue at mac..
we argued for like a few weeks..
even to the extent of calling each other names..
at that point of time..
i even de-friended her..
HAHAHAHAHA..
now that's so lame right..
but honestly i really thought i was going to write her off as one of those gals..
that i have already forgotten..

lol..
but we 'kissed' and made up..
well not literally..
don't know leh..
but that incident caused us to be like even closer..

remember the vivo incident?
i was so hungry but u had to accompany your friend to buy her STUFF..
when u keep calling me..
i couldn't stop laughing to myself..
that was like one of the few moments where i thought u might be the one..

never mind..
have not started to have feelings for u at that point of time..
it was after watching that movie..
'Life As We Know It'..
that i started to have some feelings for u..
the movie was so us la..
i don't know if u realised..
2 persons hating each other so much..
that would not even dream of being together..
in the end falling in love..
hahaha..
why did u have to choose that movie..
i don't think u realised u made me fall in love with u..
just by feeding me that cheeszy hotdog..
well..
it was not the first time u fed me..
like that time at ikea eating the meatballs..
gosh..
why is all the memories flooding back in my head..
hai..
but but but..
i already told u i would never date a gal from the workplace..
do u want me to eat my words now..
hahahah..

not sure whether is it u that is looking cuter..
or am i just lowing down my expectations to like a gal..
hahaha..
crap la..
not sure why..
but your looks are slowly growing on me..
like the way u are so understanding to me..
i can't help but be nicer to u..
it was like suddenly i didn't feel like laughing at u anymore..
i didn't feel like making fun of u..
or putting u down anymore..
lol..
WHY LA..
i told myself to be nicer to u..
and guess what la..
YOU BECAME SO NICE TOO..

the D&D yesterday was mind blowing..
i was so hesitant to get u the lily..
but i just had to..
didn't imagine the lily would make u so happy..
u looked so beautiful when u walked towards my car..
didn't want to say anything..
but eventually i told u..
u smelt so good..
man..
my heart was like thumping so hard..
that i thought u might even hear it..
but i had to play it cool and pretend i didn't even notice..
during the car ride to mbs..
i kept stealing glances at u..
but u always had to look back..
the whole time i was like imagining u in my head.
when u were just beside me..
LOL..
i don't know how to describe that feeling in words..

after the D&D..
i can't believe u forgot that the flower was in the car..
i tried to persuade u to change your mind to fetch her to the taxi stand..
but u said why am i being so selfish and reluctant..
okie lor..
listen to u..
then let her see the flower i got for u..
haha..
she's prob going to ask u so many questions soon..

after dropping her off..
we went to altitude bar..
lol..
u know..
i was so happy there i wished we could be there forever..
u were sitting beside me..
our faces were so close that i could smell your perfume..
we talked..
we laughed..
u fed me with the straw..
lol..
for a moment i thought i was in heaven..

then came the BOMB..
i jokingly told u i was a bit disappointed that i didn't get to 'eat u' tonight..
u leaned forward..
your lips so close to my face..
then u whispered so eroticly into my ear..
'how do you want to eat me?'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
u know..
i was so stunned i did not know how to react..
for a moment i imagined myself grabbing your head and pushing my lips into yours..
hahaha..
but lucky u reacted quicker than me..
and leaned back into your seat
for a split second i was speechless..
then i laughed..
i laughed and smiled at u..
while inside my heart i was like..
damn.. did that almost just happened..

anyway..
i know your character too well..
i sort of guess that u might be testing me..
u were so playful the whole night..
that it was abit not normal..
u were kind of flirtly..
we never spoke like this before..
like how u grabbed my hand when we walked down the stairs..
like how u whispered into my ears..
is it just me..
or are u starting to have feelings for me as well..

lol..
i don't know if u remembered i told u i would never fall for a gal as plain as u..
hahahaha..
well i hope u forgot about it..

u said we had a platonic relationship..
is it still true?

tell me..
tell me now..

* Love is when thoughts of but one woman fill your heart, when she means more than life to you, when you know you would do anything for her and shall die if she is taken from you..
** Desire is when you ache to see her and touch her, when she causes your body to burn and tremble..
*** Desire does not demand love before it can ensnare u, but desire with love creates a powerful bond..